actuality.log


Tuesday, March the 2nd, 2004

Now at various points in your life, a smart teacher would have handwaved her way to a seemingly excellent explanation of something with actually nothing more than a few purposefully chosen examples. Now I am going to follow that route, but I’m not even going to fake the excellent explanation bit.

Life isn’t fair. Hunks, and I am going to generalize, beautiful people, call all the shots. The geeks can try and all that, but they’re just wasting their time and energy. The hunks can waltz in, say very little, be all dumb, but the hot woman will fall for them anyway. You know, their waxed chest and all. Why do I say this? Here, I present exhibits A and B. Both the women, very similar circumstance, same decision.

But this time I didn’t know what it was. I thought Brian Worth (the geek) was a shoo in to win. If not for any other real noble reason (not like they didn’t exist), but for ratings. I mean, they had one show where the hunk won. They almost HAD TO, to keep the thing real. Or probably they did. Which is why the geeks lost both times.

I want to snicker, <Nelson>Haahhaaa! Karma caught up with her this time.</Nelson>. But that is totally besides the point. The fact that she got dumped by the hot blonde guy she picked over some rather trivial reason doesn’t undo her decision. She dumped the sweetest guy there.

Yes, I am a guy and even I know the guy she picked looks hot. But could he talk for 20 seconds? No. Did he seem like he cared? No. Was he shallower than almost anybody else would have been? Yes. Was he in construction? Yes. Did he do one sweet/thoughtful thing? No.

Did he have eyes that reminded her of the ocean? Yes.

Yes, he is definitely the one. I can see the overwhelming logic she’s applied. This isn’t about the show at points. This is about how reality is portrayed, or for all I know, is. It’s scary. I think I probably rooted for the geek so much for some stupid sort of validation thing. Just as a reassuring reminder to geek kind that they can do this. Apparently, not so.

I mean, let’s look at the final geek objectively. Yes, he didn’t look like a sculpture like the other guy. But he was witty. Endearingly so. He was wickedly sarcastic, dry, and bold around all the hunkier men. He didn’t back down or chicken out because he was smaller. Around her, that turned to a nice sort of funny. She laughed. A lot. (And I distinctly remember he joked about the shaved chests too. He was funny.) He expressed himself very well when the show started getting serious. Every thing he said and did toward the end had some sort of nice hidden meaning she understood. He took time, effort and carefully portrayed to her all that he wanted to show. He was kind and gentle. He was smart and educated. He made some bold heart openey moves. He expressed himself physically, to the levels you can on national TV anyway. She knows how much she means to him. I mean, unless those send him away tears were some fake chemical in her eye. He thought about things, her, and everything he said/did/radiated made that clear. He was willing to give up a lot he liked to be with her. He seemed earnest when he said he could be there for her in a forevery way. He did everything a normal person could/would have done.

But then again, he didn’t have eyes that reminded her of the ocean.

When you open yourself to the possibilities of highest highs, you’ve got to be ready for the realities of lowest lows too.

But then again, there is always karma.

Why do I keep thinking colour contacts? Hmm. Of course, the sane among you will realize this is just a show. And Gill dumping her over a cheesy ex is actually a lot better than me going on and on about it here.

Die.

NB. I can’t write (or do anything else for that matter) when listening to stuff. But I was having so much fun I didn’t plan to stop to concentrate on sounding ok. And only extremely new stuff. Tasting different things. Good god there are some cool stuff I haven’t heard.

NP. Maps – Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Update: Another (actually funny) take on all things real. Not.

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9 Responses to “Life, tv, reality”

  1. anita says:

    you pretty much said everything i was thinking. although, when i blogged about it (not yet published), all i could say was something along the lines of “stupid, stupid, stupid”. that’s about as eloquent as i felt like getting about it.

    i think that, because of the rushed nature of these reality dating shows, physical attraction plays a HUGE role, much more so than in real life…so the whole premise of the show is doomed from the get-go.

    but anyway, not to be negative towards the ‘geek’, but as i was watching i was kinda wondering if the reason he had all these feelings for her was just because she was so good looking, you know? i didn’t watch the show, so maybe i’m wrong, maybe she did have a good personality, i couldn’t tell. but suppose that they put on this hot girl with a bad personality. i bet you the last geek left would still think she was ‘the one’.

    we’ll see what happens next season – i think it should be interesting to see a bunch of women who supposedly want to date an average joe. i wasn’t sure whether the women were going to be average themselves, or if they’d be good looking and expect a good looking guy, but instead get that adam guy. (although he wasn’t as terrible looking as some of the other guys)

  2. wahgnube says:

    I have little doubt the only reason he had feelings of that magnitude in that time frame is because she was that attractive. There is no way, without getting to know someone, he would do the things he did/behave the way he did/feel the way he did and so on if she were less attractive. Plus, men are quite stupid. Stupider than this woman anyhow. So that’s definitely magnified.

    I screamed in that general direction, making him seem better than he probably is, because I’m biased. I did hint it was more general at the outset with the … hunks and I am going to generalize, beautiful people …. But I didn’t plan to dwell on that. It was a sort of focussed rant. It just doesn’t seem fair it’s so easy for the pretty people. This Gill chap will find someone in a flash. You know, with the ocean eyes. She’ll definitely find someone in a flash too. I mean come on.

    The system leaves guys like Brian (ones who don’t get to broadcast their “niceness” on national tv, I mean) arbitrarily hanging. No one is going to look at him long enough when Ocean eyes is right there for this guy to even show what he’s capable of being.

    That’s what I have my beef with.

    (And he might not think she’s the one, but he’d be willing to be open to the possibility. I have no basis for making that statement, just biased again.)

  3. aegis says:

    Logical Fallacy
    An Average Joe need not be a Geek.
    A Geek need not be an Average Joe.
    I personally think U need to decouple these 2.

  4. wahgnube says:

    I was using the jocks vs geeks notation used in the show. I think I understand being a geek doesn’t make you average. In some sense, I have to remind myself that often to feel positive about life.

    But that is the problem with the system. If you’re hot, no matter how stupid you are, how little you care, how shallow you are and anything negative, you will still be looked at as extremely above average. People will treat you nicely and want to do things for you.

    But if you aren’t, you’re average. Doesn’t matter if you’re a geek or not. Doesn’t matter if you’re extremely accomplished in some odd field. Doesn’t matter if you’re the kindest, nicest, caringest, funniest, lovingest person ever. You’re still average.

    That was the sort of person the term “geek” was (incorrectly) used to describe in the show – the not hot men. Not all these “geeks” were smart or technically competent or anything else nice. Not all the “hunks” were stupid and shallow.

  5. anita says:

    i understand what you’re saying about “the system” – but i don’t think things in the real world are quite as bad as you make them seem. or at least, i hope they aren’t. i have been attracted to guys that were average looking (but not geeky), and i know other girls who have dated extremely geeky guys. i think the real people who have difficulty are the shy, quiet, insecure, non-sociable people. and maybe it just so happens that a lot of these people are sort of average looking, i don’t know…

  6. wahgnube says:

    Nothing can (should) be as bad as I try to make it seem. And thank goodness for that. I just tend to get melodramatic and carried away when trying to paint a grim picture. Sometimes, I seem to enjoy scaring myself.

    A lot of those things you mentioned are quite related, I think. I mean, you might be quiet because you’re shy. Shy because you’re insecure about your (self appraised) average looks. All this leads to being classified as non-sociable. If you are pretty and still all of those other things, the chances of someone else coming upto you and attempting to have you open up to them is higher.

    I mean, I can always twist the story so the blame falls not on the person who’s aloof and out of the system (for whatever reason) but on the “system’s evil” that tends to have unrealistic expectations of him/her. I mean this in a, “if you’re so hot, you ride for free, if not, you need to work a bit for it”, way. Personally, I think I’m drawn to geeky first, and average or not appearances play a secondary role. But I don’t think the sample set is large enough to make any real generalization.

    Hmm. I think I just figured it out. I think I know just what it is my issue is with. Maybe I’m just being greedy and want to be non-sociable while just expecting all I want happen, happen. In an, “I know who I am, it must be magically obvious to anyone who bothers to look” way. Like I expect no less than E.S.P from all those who… I want to see me?

  7. anita says:

    yes, i know all those things are related. i was kinda looking at it from another angle though – like, suppose you had a geeky or average looking person who was really friendly and confident…and then you had this good looking person who was not. who out of these two would have the best luck?

    i understand what you are saying too…but i just think that people who are confident and secure and all that just tend to appear better looking than they actually are. while people who aren’t as confident tend to appear worse looking than they actually are.

    but anyway…i definitely have the little greediness issue you mentioned there at the end. so what do i know.

  8. wahgnube says:

    Sorry for the delay. I didn’t notice your latest comment earlier. The friendly outgoing geek would have better luck.

    Yes, I think that’s it. When you’re confident about things, it radiates through to all aspects, overshadowing other things at times. (Unfortunately the reverse must be true too.)

    You know enough to have little difficulty comprehending my points of view on these things, and that just makes me feel… understood.

  9. anita says:

    all this over a stupid TV show : )

    glad that you feel understood though.


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