actuality.log


Sunday, February the 15th, 2004

General cluelessness and stupidity warning – IAJAG*.

I think a woman and a guy can be totally happy together, purely on the basis of him being her lifelong (extremely hard to do, yet you can delude yourself into thinking you can) “do it yourself” improvement project.

And I am not kidding, I really do.

There is obviously this intense need the female has, to improve aspects of her life. It can be something relatively small, like rearranging the furniture over and over again around her nest. But the scary part is, our male friend too can be happily clubbed into one of these aspects. Things can go on quite nicely, she believing he is someday going to step into that cocoon she’s built for him, the phat slug that he is now, and magically come out all pretty and butterflyey.

It’s like, we’ve awakened their inner carpenter. And we’re their friendly neigbourhood hardware store’s “get everything you need in one box” project kits. I mean the workbench, the work material AND the tool chest. (If you’re wondering, yes. I am especially proud I thought of tool chest. And that one word, or is that two? is the only reason this post even exists.)

ALL IN ONE KIT. Now which sane project doer can pass up such a deal?

It’s like, they’re just greedy. They’re the bedrock of society, caretakers of our children, the ones who uphold our values and ensure harmony … . They get to CREATE LIFE and ensure perpetuation of the people, AND YET, there is still a lurking need to create. To make something out of nothing. To make something of their man. Sure, these occasionally lead to these spots of bother and turbulence. I mean, once in a few years you will go through the, “But but, after all I’ve said and shown you, you HAVEN’T CHANGED. NOT ONE BIT”. (At which point, you’re like.. oh..kay, so is she violent because we aren’t better men yet, or she is beating herself up for not being too good at moulding the lump of clay she was handed.) But then again, they’re patient and forgiving. So they happily assume in time things will be different. For all their intelligence and sensitivity, there are some things they just don’t get.

We don’t change. We CAN’T change. We know this. You spend all that time and effort on attempting to improve us, but we’re not budging. Even if we do, we’ll still fake being our stupid selves. Isn’t it obvious why? That was an important component, admit it or not, of the attraction in the first place. If we’re suddenly all improved and mature and sensitive and nice and caring and clean and … where’s the challenge? We’re afraid you’ll happily move along to greener, (or is that less green) grazing grounds, and set about making them green.

We’re devious about this too. We assume they will assume we will change, and be patient. And I mean very patient. Banking on this, we just be who we are. In time, biological clocks and what not, we’re hoping to hear something like “Ok, I give up, I presume this is where your evolution chose to stop”, and accept us for who we are.

But then again, like I started off saying. What do I know? IAJAG*. We’re the ones who base our needs on extremely strong grounds.

*IAJAG – I am just a guy.

This is a printer-friendly version of the journal entry “(Lifelong?) Improvement projects” from actuality.log. Visit http://emphaticallystatic.org/earlier/lifelong-improvement-projects/ to read the original entry and follow any responses to it.

6 Responses to “(Lifelong?) Improvement projects”

  1. IW says:

    I dont get Scary Go Round. And you know what you’re absolutely right. You have analysed it down to a T. This explains my ultra sad record with relationships.

  2. wahgnube says:

    We (males) are the ones who base our needs on extremely strong grounds.

    I was mocking the guy, Ryan’s explanation.
    Hugo, it’s nearly winter… I need a lady to be holding me at night. To feel like someone wants you… and save on central heating bills.

    Unless by “not get scarygoround”, you meant the page didn’t load or some such. In that case disregard all of this.

    Now, this wasn’t intended to be a detailed, insightful or even correct ‘analysis’. It was just my (attemptedly) humourous take on how I think things can be. Not to be taken anywhere near seriously. And most definitely not used to explain anything.

  3. K. says:

    Damn! Just when I was thinking that this was the answer for all humanity.

  4. So cutely written.BTW Couldnt it be vice versa?That once he greens up her grazing ground, he’ll move on?scary

  5. wahgnube says:

    K: Tough man. It would be cool it were that, I wouldn’t say simple, I’d say figureoutable.

  6. wahgnube says:

    eeq: Not happening.


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