Baby’s got blue skies up ahead
But in this I�m a rain cloud
You know she needs a dry kind of love
Oh oh oh, the sweetest thing
I�m losing you
I�m losing you
Ain’t love the sweetest thing
I have done a lot I am not particularly proud of over the past few days. I don’t know what I was thinking or what I hoped to achieve. I’ve been feeling horrid, but I deserve to be this way. I have been doing nothing but causing sadness to the one person I want to see happy more than anything I want in this world. I don’t have the right to do any of this. Right now, I know it would crush me if it were so, but I almost wish I didn’t mean enough to warrant such emotion. At least my stupidity wouldn’t be hurtful.
The more I behave like this, the more I push her away, the more distant she behaves, the more hurt I get, the more I tend to react this way, …
There is almost no line separating ‘fighting to get back what you feel you lost’ and ‘actually losing it while behaving like an insensitive clod fighting to get back what you feel you lost’. I’ve unknowingly crossed it a long time ago.
Saying ‘glass screeching while being scratched does not realize it is hurting the lens cleaner’ does not cut it. I am not glass. I have a brain.
I hate my brain. I hate it.
pundit@emphaticallystatic.org
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