actuality.log


Saturday, February the 14th, 2009

(When it transcends the bad things.)

I’ve come to believe there are essentially two kinds of people in this world: Ones whose first semi-serious relationship blossoms in to a continuous, positive influence in their lives, and the rest of us. Decades may pass since these first encounters, but I’m beginning to think that those whose fledgling first loves end up crashing and burning are forever doomed to wonder what-if, unable to appreciate what they have in their hands, nor able to look hopefully into the future. Scarier still, I think this only gets worse with time.

The trouble, you see, seems to stem from the fact that most memories—especially emotionally-charged ones—are infinitely malleable. They morph steadily as the days pass, seamlessly melding-in elements of fantasy and threads of what you once wished things were. Before long, they’ve ballooned to an unrealistic standard no future relationship can ever live up to, leaving one forever unfulfilled and unhappy.

While it’s quite depressing to think about things like this, the conclusions I have reached are nothing profound. It’s quite apparent that the gap between fantasy and reality in the public consciousness has been steadily growing over the years. What exacerbates the problem for me personally is that I don’t tend to fall for geeks. Sweet-sounding singers, expressive painters and petite pastry chefs maybe, but never the geek. And the more specialised I’ve become over the years, the less likely it’s become I meet anyone but. Which makes it hard not to reminisce about times when the pool was more eclectic.

This is a printer-friendly version of the journal entry “Love sings” from actuality.log. Visit http://emphaticallystatic.org/earlier/love-sings/ to read the original entry and follow any responses to it.

4 Responses to “Love sings”

  1. Michelle says:

    “there are essentially two kinds of people in this world: Ones whose first semi-serious relationship blossoms in to a continuous, positive influence in their lives, and the rest of us.”

    According to Britney Spears, those two kinds of people are the ones who entertain and the ones who observe. (Circus)

    So maybe there are four kinds of people in the world?

    Which has nothing to do with your post whatsoever, except that maybe the pool is just slightly more eclectic than you think.

    I love philosophizing when I’ve been drinking. :D

  2. pundit says:

    This is the axis I’m choosing to sort them by, so no, there are just two.

    Even Britney Spears for instance, don’t you think her chaotic life riddled with personal struggles would have been smoother sailing if she had a strong relationship anchoring her?

  3. Michelle says:

    Yes, like a platonic relationship with me, for example. She’s long needed someone in her life with the balls to stand up and not let her out of the house if insufficiently dressed, for example. “Girl, put on a bra and a pair of pants before I put my foot up your arse!”

    No romance necessary.

  4. pundit says:

    I agree, romance isn’t necessary. It’s just more fun (and motivating?) when it exists.

    Under certain contexts, some people (me) are more likely to listen and see things through.


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