I just got this e-mail with a subject that went something like, “Love isn’t just for the smart and talented, but even for the smallest of God’s creatures.” “Just great,” I go, thinking it is another one of those e-mails from PETA (how the fuck did they get my contact information?) or some other pseudo-religious group trying to fleece me.
It turns out that it was a penis hardening, generic Viagra ad. I should’ve known.
Remember people, and I quote verbatim, “Your hypersexuality doesn’t depend on the size of your penis, it depends on its ability to stay hard for several hours. And that’s the way to deliver the best orgasm to her!” And to think I was under the impression that hypersexuality was a word I made up.
If only I had access to more such delightful information during the more experimental phases of my college years. You know, like when I slept with Prof. Klitgaard for what SHOULD HAVE BEEN AN ‘A’. (She lies!)