actuality.log


Thursday, December the 15th, 2005

I am really glad I came here to study. Just the pleasure of running into and interacting with all sorts of varied folk makes it all worthwhile, and so colourful! Just recently, the following came up during the course of a conversation (and why do I know this guy again?):

“Dude, I’m not bi (as in curious or sexual). I just behave that way, because, you know[1], it turns my dominant (as in sexually) woman on.”

If you need to justify your longing for men with some convoluted tale involving showing your vicariously-inclined woman you really love her by sleeping with men?, you probably need to talk to someone; someone professional. This is what I wanted to scream when I heard what he said, but being the nice guy that I am, I exited with some crude joke instead.

When it comes to male sexual preferences, I have a nonchalant “your penis, your business” attitude toward it all. But, and this really still surprises me, most of my friends and associates don’t often feel this way. They voice strong feelings on the issue; very strong, and often very negative. So much so that some of these people refuse to acknowledge the possibility that homosexuality might be natural, and often blame the media or even denounce the guy as “just plain irresponsible”. In the sense that, “he wants to have fun, and not deal with real issues, like anyone getting pregnant”. Seriously people, there are a lot of ways of going about doing that, most of which don’t involve becoming gay.

While these opinions bothered me, what really spooked me were the kids on the darker end of this spectrum—the ones with the purely homophobia-induced hatred. I grasped at straws trying to answer one basic question: Why would otherwise rational and compassionate human beings suddenly turn so violent against something so trivial?—something that probably doesn’t even touch them in their everyday lives.

Being the “scientist” that I claim to be, I decided to go through with an experiment. A very crude, and very unscientific, experiment. Following in the footsteps of cool ideas like Supersize Me, I decided to go a little undercover and see what it’s like to be treated differently when people assumed I was gay; especially people who’ve known me for a long time.

Not knowing how to advertise this in real life (think about it, you don’t hear people screaming “I’m straight” or otherwise on the streets), I decided to start small and a couple of months ago, changed my Orkut profile to read: “Reason for being here: Dating (Men)”. Honestly, I was expecting some sort of huge uproar, with numerous curious folk stopping by to say hello, and find out WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! I mean, come on, some of the people on that list I’ve known for ages; surely they have to be at least a LITTLE curious.

No such thing. I heard not a peep. No one said anything. No one treated me even the tiniest bit different. Nothing. Either people don’t notice these things, don’t care, or don’t care about what I do with my penis. I honestly still haven’t reached the bottom of what’s going on. I don’t even know whether I should feel proud of the open-minded nature of these people, or hurt that they deem my life course altering decisions so insignificant.

More curious still, a few otherwise available, very attractive and intelligent friends of mine got engaged in this period—and didn’t even mention it until I brought it up! Coincidence? I think not.

Good god! What have I done?

[1] No, actually, I don’t know. Does it bother you too when people pause to collect their thoughts with a “you know”, especially when you clearly don’t know what the hell they’re talking about?

This is a printer-friendly version of the journal entry “On unscientific tests” from actuality.log. Visit http://emphaticallystatic.org/earlier/on-unscientific-tests/ to read the original entry and follow any responses to it.

6 Responses to “On unscientific tests”

  1. pUl| says:

    For the record, I did notice it, like twice or thrice, but then very casually, I never bothered. Why? It’s simple: It’s your life and you’re not directly connected with me in any way; so, who cares?

  2. pUl| says:

    Oh, one other thing. I really don’t think anyone cares (as in takes it seriously) about anything that is written in any of the (lengthy, purportedly sleek/catchy or imaginative whatever) profiles people take the time to fill out. If you did go a bold step further, like attach an obvious sticker to your backpack or some such, things could have been more interesting *grin*

  3. pUl| says:

    Hmm, third response. Sorry about that. Just so that you don’t think of it the wrong way, when I said: directly connected, I meant directlyconnected.

  4. wahgnube says:

    (Firstly, I am quite surprised that “the system” let you comment three times without flagging your comments for further inspection as potential spam. Heck, it doesn’t even let me do that. It’s stupid enough to flag my comments for inspection, and then e-mails me to go ahead and check it out. Secondly, I am more a fan of this wide comment-text entry box than other things. It is sweet.)

    No, our lives are not in anyway connected. I wasn’t really referring to you; I was sort of expecting some sort of response from people who’ve known me longer. As in people who know my parents and such, and stuff like this, if noticed, will surely go full circle and I ought to have been quizzed. Plus, there are people on there who’ve openly voiced some pretty harsh words toward homosexuals.

    I read profiles, so I assumed others did too. Either no one I know bothers to read, or they let this small thing slide because I’m otherwise much loved! And about my backpack, I have a very obvious naked incubus (amongst other things) on it. And any other sort of opposing message will surely clash with the decor. The only “interesting” thing that happens when I walk by, or stand in a bus or whatever, is that guys gawk for a split second, and mommies with little kids distract them away from my direction.

    Edit: How ironic that this very comment got flagged for moderation. By me.

  5. J says:

    Ahem… did something that happend yesterday irk you enough to write a post on this? :p

  6. wahgnube says:

    You know it did.


1 people conned into wasting their bandwidth.