If you find yourself checking out guys, does that make you gay?
Is it acceptable if said checked-out guys really were insanely hot?
How evil is it to be embarrassed by someone you’re out with?
I mean, you’re out for dinner and a movie or whatever, but all you can think about is not running into someone you know, or what they would think of you if they saw you with this other person. So much so that even the fact that you’re having quite a bit of fun doesn’t even seem to matter.
Is it acceptable if she really isn’t particularly attractive?
How weird is it to have weird dreams?
In order to clarify, how weird is it to dream about being married to a woman who’s half caterpillar? How weird is it if you didn’t notice anything was wrong, until your offspring with her (quarter caterpillar) seemed oddly non-human?
Is it acceptable if someone you were talking to during the day mentioned ‘caterpillar’?
Anywho, with the sort of standards I’m beginning to set, there’s a good chance I’m dying alone. And then going to hell.
pundit@emphaticallystatic.org
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