actuality.log


Thursday, August the 12th, 2004

A bunch of things. Over the past few weeks I’ve gotten rather obsessed with this moving-to-my-own-place nonsense. I’ve still got about 10 days before I move and I keep telling myself it’s not that big a deal, but I can’t really get me to listen to me. Initially it was this sort of rather-senseless-excitement, that eventually morphed to tranquil-yet-strangely-disquieted, and in its latest incarnation, it’s plain obsessed. I’ve been shopping every instant I’ve been free for all sorts of arbitrary crap. Does anyone really care how a picture frame complements one of the appropriately placed mats on the bathroom floor? I think not. Will anybody even notice? I know not. Why the hell do I think I’m someone who knows what he’s doing and trying so much? I can’t get this image out of my head. I was at one of those stores, I think it was Bed Bath & Beyond, when out of thin air, this vision of “how it has to be” hit me. And I’ve pretty much been doing all I can to pull it off.

And there’s a lot of green. A whole lot of green all over. Initially I planned and was getting things aiming for a sort-of-maroon, and then I quickly reverted to the cold-industrial-metallic-and-blue, before finally daring to be extremely different and settling on a-plethora-of-greens.

I need to snap out of this, soon. I need to get work done.

I might be going to Boston in a while, which will rock. Boston’s one of the coolest places, ever. All this after doing time in Nebraska, of course. Hey, you’ve got to learn to take the good with the not-so-good.

And people shouldn’t just arbitrarily get married suddenly without giving you some sort of inkling. I’m finding it rather hard to be “happy for” when all my sensory systems are busy fending off this rather-sudden-shock onslaught.

This is a printer-friendly version of the journal entry “Solitude.. in a bit” from actuality.log. Visit http://emphaticallystatic.org/earlier/solitude-in-a-bit/ to read the original entry and follow any responses to it.
»

Comments are closed.


1 people conned into wasting their bandwidth.