actuality.log

the language edition.

1. People who misspell “definitely”.
“I must defnately be stupid.”
2. People who mispronounce “congratulations”.
“CONEgratulations on your promotion. I am from the north see, this is how I say things.”
3. People who genuinely don’t realize the differences between, it’s and its or <insert-word-here>s and <insert-same-word-here>’s.
“Todays special’s.” Arggh!
4. People who use comparative forms without giving A BASIS TO COMPARE WITH.
“It’s a good thing Tums works faster.”
4a. People who do give something to compare with but don’t know the difference between “than” and “then”.
“It’s a good thing Tums works faster then Brand-X.”
5. People who in general sound like so.
“We ain’t no major airline, however we here at jetairways are happy to be provide you the oranjuice excetera in a glass supposably ducktaped to your hanrest for safety during the turbulence.”

Arggh.