actuality.log


Tuesday, January the 6th, 2004

This living with people thing is a bit much. I mean really, I am too old for this. Just one fishing evening, and suddenly with three people instead of one, I’ve never felt more cramped in my life. Guests, phone calls, LOUD talking, and general noise. It was perfect. Orderly, and neat. IT WAS ORDERLY. One day, and it’s all back to chaos and entropy’s through the roof. And it’s too hot even by my standards.

And here’s the killer, too much fishing HINDI.

There are so many aspects to this that annoy me in other ways too. I hate being the youngest person by over ten years all the time. I just hate it. ALWAYS being around older people at home is so depressing. I DON’T WANT TO END UP ALL BALD AND BELLIED. I know I probably will, but I’d rather not think about it or be reminded about it at every possible instant.

I think what is bothering me is that somehow I’ve lost my chance at being a kid. I’ve been old and mature as a child. Soon, I’ll be old. Somewhere in there, there should have been fun and carefree. I really would like to know how that feels. This being a wannabe kid in the head, but circumstances and people you live with and so on being “been there done that, I’d rather sleep” old, is fishing crazy.

While I am at it, this doesn’t help either.

Yes, it is cold.

First thing tomorrow, I look for a studio. I don’t care if I can’t afford it. I don’t care if I become the… I might as well paste this.

CHANDLER: If I’m gonna be an old, lonely man, I’m gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I’ll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y’know. Crazy Snake Man. And I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. “Run away from Crazy Snake Man,” they’ll shout!

Remember that? Good times. Good times. I remember being able to laugh so hard.

This is a printer-friendly version of the journal entry “Wasn’t weird, just disastrous” from actuality.log. Visit http://emphaticallystatic.org/earlier/wasnt-weird-just-disastrous/ to read the original entry and follow any responses to it.

6 Responses to “Wasn’t weird, just disastrous”

  1. puli says:

    what’ could be possibly wrong with hindi :-S

  2. anita says:

    studios are the best. i miss living in my studio in ann arbor. it’s the only thing i miss about ann arbor actually. definitely don’t miss the weather :)

    you know what’s better than a studio? a WARM studio.

  3. anonymous site conscience says:

    puli: Please don’t question his linguistic biasdisms/opinions about language and related things ever again. If you have a problem with it, or have some ideals like “all languages are equal” or something like that, you’re free to bring that up, anywhere else.

    Here is more if you are so inclined

  4. wahgnube says:

    Yes, a studio sounds sweet. A toasty studio, sweeter :).

  5. puli says:

    roger that … ‘site conscience’ … long time no see… where were you ;)

  6. Colin Thomas says:

    Hmm…. I was searching on google for “Crazy Snake Man” and discovered this. You see, my website (www.crazysnakeman.co.uk) is based on that speech. That’s all I’ve got to say, really…


1 people conned into wasting their bandwidth.