Furious… to laughing so hard

Watching OTHER people enjoy the benefits of blazingly fast connections at home just sucks. I hope they all die and rot in hell? No, nothing that extreme. Anyway, I am one of the calmest and rationalest people I know. I rarely get too excited and/or irritated. But today’s events totally warranted a blow up, and I did. It all started off with… a sort of pseudo analogy might do better.

Dad: Son, I think you’re old enough and it’s time we have this talk. We are going to talk about doing things safely.
Son: But DAAAD, stop embarrassing me. I know things, you know. My genius friends and I figured it all out. And we’re obviously more smarter than you, so I won’t mess up.
Dad: But son, all I wanted to talk about was being safe, about protection.
Son: Quiet down old man. I know how to be safe. I am safe right now, and nothing’s gone wrong. I am quite sure I can handle myself.
Dad: But, ok, good. Nice to know you’re the responsible sorts. And glad we had this talk.

3 months later, the son dies of an STD?… No! Far worse. 3 months later the dad gets a lawsuit filed against him by the RIAA because his son downloaded things he shouldn’t have, was stupid enough to get caught, and the internet connection was under the parent’s name.

This is the sort of nonsense that I hope won’t happen at home. I obviously don’t know what is going on, or if any of it might not be legal, but I DON’T HAVE A COMPUTER AND YET THE MODEM ACTIVITY IS OFF THE CHARTS. I tried to be concerned for these jokers, but not like I would really give a damn IF they did anything stupid and got caught or got sued to oblivion. But I do, because I handle all the bills. Everything is in my name. One unintelligent mess up, and the blame falls on me.

I am not saying they are doing anything wrong. I am saying they have to be OPEN TO TALKING TO ME ABOUT DOING THINGS SAFERLY IF THEY EVER PLAN TO. I don’t trust their intelligence in not getting caught if they do screw with the system. People (yes, I am implying other than I) are stupid. So that was it. I tried bringing it up, and got shot down. I almost wished they screwed up and had to pay. Trouble is, they wouldn’t be the ones doing any paying in case of a screw up. I was fuming, but left home. I had bigger things to be excited about. MEGGY. (Today was supposed to be the day I got to pick up megatr0n. So obviously was a bit excited. I would say I was a lot excited.)

Fast forward in time. Here I am at Best Buy giggling and giddy like a three year old on her first trip to a candy store. The dude gets the computer, and one look and I just know it HASN’T BEEN FIXED.

evilguy: Let me check the system. Oh, we’re sorry sir the charges were a FREAKING 5 DOLLARS over what estimate you’d approved. So we didn’t do anything.
me: Oh, so a guy who’s willing to pay 200 bucks won’t pay 205? Are you fishing insane? Why wasn’t I asked?… Generally blow my top.
evilguy: Sir, we tried contacting you and we couldn’t reach.
me: What fish. I CONTACTED YOU AND YOU TOLD ME ALL IS FINE.
evilguy: Oh :|. Now that you’ve apparently approved it, we can fix it. HEY LEEROY (not a real name, I forgot) HOW DO YOU SPELL REFERENCE? I AM A GOOD SPELLER BUT I DON’T KNOW THIS ONE. Sign here sir.
leeroy: umm

And then I gave up and gave it back to him preparing to live without it for another 3 weeks. Now I really hope they all die and rot in hell. Fishing incompetent, and stupid to boot.

So that was that. I avoided home, and am chilling at a relatives place for the weekend. Which totally negated all that anger and snappiness. I was, for whatever reason, forced to watch a Tamil channel for a bit. Now there were a bunch of movie songs being played. HILARIOUS. Some general notes about actresses from different movies. I could get into actors too, but why? I had enough fun mocking half the cast.

  – find something else to do after their first movie
  – wear the same horrendous costumes which show in all grandness what I’d rather not have seen
  – which results in the obvious – beyond flabby?
  – rejects from north India and associated hilarities wrt dubbing

I love this once a month, half hour dose of back-home-culture-reminder. I’ve never laughed so hard in my life. Boy was I on fire mocking them. Yes, I am going to hell but it was so worth it.

BWAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH! *Wipes tears*