Beyond tired

Not to sound narcissistic or anything, but sometimes I just wish that the world would pause and revolve around me for a little while. You know, genuinely be aware of how I am doing, or what I am going through, and care enough to offer me some comfort.

I believe—and this is only because I’ve been told often enough—that I am a decent human being who’s quite compassionate and generous. And, while it’s all well and good to be unselfish and kindhearted, it’s dispiriting to acknowledge that perhaps the world doesn’t deem you worthy of reciprocation. I say this because I’m exhausted by constantly having to work toward having my basic needs met. I don’t want to try anymore. I want to sit back, calm down, and have something just given to me for a change. You know, without me having to try for it, or work toward it, or fight for it… just given to me. I know the nay-sayers in the audience are going to get all up in arms offering me such gems of advice as, “But if you don’t work hard toward it, how will you really value it when it’s there?” Trust me, I will value it if it is there. Just give it to me, you’ll see.

Some things, I believe, are fundamental and should be handed to you; even if only on occasion. I don’t think I am asking for pity; all it is… is some love; without having to constantly scrounge for it.