I am not an evil person

Usually.

I do love mocking things. I am not talking about “point and jeer kicking sand in their faces” mocking. I am not talking Sienfeld style “what’s the deal with mayonnaise” style humour either. I prefer a more darker and drier approach. Sounding perfectly normal and rational, just highlight a blatantly obvious (to me) observation related to how stupid we really are. Something like an understated Simpsons episode without the gore. Usually bordering on cold or hurtful, but never, primarily because it isn’t directed at anything or anyone in particular. Just the generic dummy who fits that description, who everyone shrugs off as the “other guy”.

Therefore, society and me are my favourite targets. My safest targets. I tend to offend no one in particular, and if I do, it’s just me.

Then there are some days when people make it so easy I can’t help it. I know I am being mean, but I can’t stop because they’re sitting ducks holding a gun pointed at themselves AND hypnotising me trying to get me to pull the trigger. And I oblige. But only because they made me.

It’s hilarious. Hilariously rude, but hilarious none the less.

One of the undocumented chores of being a student at a university (who puts up contact information at too many places) is answering emails from clueless blokes. I am, if I do say so myself, very good about it. No canned answers. I do my research, take my time, and answer them aptly and to the best of my abilities. I maintain a kind, understanding and generally helpful air. These people have a whole lot of nonsense to deal with after this. Last thing they need is a rude / hope crushing / generally evil / misinformed email from me. I have never really received a decent thank you note, or seen or heard from these people ever again, but I do it like some karmic duty. It’s not like I ever mailed anybody when I wanted to know something. But then again, I am I. I was “too cool” for that, and “just knew” all that I needed to know.

Anyway, there are a few of those sitting duck cases here as well. And somehow, an impersonal email to someone I probably won’t ever communicate with ever again makes me feel a whole lot less guilty when I rip them to shreds over the smallest of things. A bunch of typos and flawed grammar say. I don’t intend to. Sometimes their demanding tone just puts me off, and I strongly dislike the person. I am in no frame of mind to tone down inherent impulses. Therefore I mock. Mocking plays a huge role in my “dealing with” and “putting things in perspective” abilities.

For whatever reasons (the uni webserver providing it as a free service for one) I have a guestbook for this site. Not that too many real people use it anymore. It now functions more like a spam honeypot. I rarely check it. But for some reason I clicked it today and woah.

Monday, February 02, 2004 — 10:18:46 (EST)
Name: Obfuscatedforhisprivacy SINGH– Email: Obfuscatedforhisprivacy@yahoo.com
(Of course, I said his. Obfuscatedforhisprivacy sounds like a him. Besides, women aren’t stupid.)
Location: jamshedpur, jharkhand india
# i want to know that my admit card has been mistikaly printed as all the suvject in my previous records but i want to give onlymathematic as my subject please make me the corection

Now I have nothing particularly against Singhs, or people from “Jharkand”, or people who don’t know the difference between an academic service office contact addresses and random website guestbooks, or people who can’t spell for nuts, or people who don’t know of the existence of punctuation, or people who don’t believe in capitalization (on top of not knowing the existence of punctuation so that I can at least figure out when a sentence ends and another begins), or have extreme grammar issues, or don’t realize it might be better to insert spaces between words, or lack the time to proofread JUST A LITTLE, or blatantly attempt to not make sense.

I have no idea what this person was trying to say. But it is just all so easy isn’t it?

Like I said, I am not an evil person.

Usually.