Fight Club is the quintessential “man movie.” You know that as well as I.
The reason I bring it up, is that I’m sick of lying to people when they ask me, “So, how is everything going?” I know I tell them over and over that it’s “all well and going just fine.” I’ve probably told you the same thing recently too. But in actuality, I don’t know how else to describe my state other than to say that it’s about the same state as Ed Norton’s character was during Fight Club.
This is a very weird phase of my life. I am disinterested, unmotivated, tired, unproductive, … and most distressingly, uncreative.
While we’re on this topic, I might as well get another related thing out of the way. I guess it’s that time of my academic life or whatever, but I’m often asked the question, “So, what are your plans for the future?” Yes, I understand I told you a lot of things and painted a rosy picture, but honestly? that’s a lie too; I just don’t know. Lately, I’ve been thinking rather seriously of getting into something totally different and selfless—like social service in some really needy place. I don’t really know what I want anymore; I just know it’s not this.
Well hey, join the club. I’m just at the point in my life where I’m finally changing directions, and I’m still not sure where that’s going to go. Um…good luck? :)
Yeah, I hate that question too. “what are your plans for the future?” Why do people want to know about your future?? I don’t think they’ll care two years down the line, what you actually did with your future…
I think very few people are honest about their feelings of cluelessness, and sometimes it’s just easier to ask the little voice deep inside to shut up. But that voice has a way of nagging you, softly but surely, continously.
(pardon the rant. I blame my own version of the weird phase.) :D
i’m in a similar phase myself. and it’s worse to go through such a phase when you’re out of school and in the real world. it’s harder to lie about too.
Michelle: Thanks! But it’s going to need a little bit more than just luck I’m afraid. I need to make some positive changes; once I realise what they are.
anonymiss: You’re free to rant here any time. Which prompts me to say: If you have something bottled up that you’ve wanted to scream somewhere, but lack the outlet, you could be this lucky space’s first guest columnist!
And on topic, I doubt anyone really cares—even at the moment they ask, let alone two years down the line—when they ask you what your future plans are. I think they’re just vaguely curious, and think of it as a brilliant way of starting a conversation.
anita: I was about to revolt, but I must admit that is true. The (positive?) thing about school is that people don’t seem to think twice about it when I indicate how stagnant my life is. It’s brushed away as, “It’s just a phase, once you get into the real world, all will be as it should.”
Not automatically it won’t. Nothing fundamental will change.
But they don’t know that, so I can get away.