I am not doing too much. Rather, I feel I am doing a lot and nothing’s getting done. This week has been one of exceptionally low efficiency. I’ve been continuously “busy” and tired, and I can’t look back and see what was really achieved. Except of course, some FEAP stuff involving different platforms and different compilers. I also replaced the base solver with SuperLU, and almost got it parallelized on legolas. (Note to self, need to take some classes on parallel computing for coolness’ sake.)
What am I saying, none of that was work, in the sense of it NEEDED to be done. I still don’t have my talk ready for Monday. I haven’t made any major inroads into the growth code. I haven’t made any major inroads into the remodelling papers. I haven’t even been able to keep up with going to the analysis classes, let alone doing home work and all that. Fat chance trying to figure out stuff in classes without doing work for them. Damn these non-spoonfeedy educational systems.
And god, not another talk. All I’ve been doing for the past few months is talk. Yes, it’s fun and all, for a while. Now it’s become so mundanely normal. Forget fun or exciting or that sort of thing, it isn’t even making me tense anymore. It’s become “just a talk”. Mundane things aren’t fun. I’m used to them. I try to adjust my environment so it is predictable and mundane. It makes things easier, not fun.
I need to break this cycle. I need some radical enlightenment halo moments. I just want to snap my fingers and see all this magically get done and me suddenly be at some state that all I want to be clear, be clear.
Idle ranting apart, :) someone remembered my birthday. And, the GameCube it is. Hmm.. probably that’s it. That’s one of the major changes over this past year. Probably gaming was the brain fuel that kept it active and feeling young all this time.