actuality.log


Sunday, April the 9th, 2006

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One of the many things that men aren’t really open to talking about, is why they want to break up. They just do, and that’s that; deal with it. All they want is to fade away—gracefully or otherwise—without overly analysing or clarifying the situation. On the other hand, the one thing that women most definitely want to talk about—and want to “work on”—is preventing such an event. They seemingly love to discuss (in excruciating detail, no less) why things are evolving the way they are, and present their brilliant plans to fix the scenario.

Let it go; he’s just not into you. And there’s little you can do to fix that.

(Probably apropos here is something I heard a comedian say a long time ago: “I don’t know how else to tell you this honey, but it’s your face. And no matter how much you run every day, it isn’t going to get any better.”)

Not satisfied? Does “I’m not into you” not work for you? Do you still really want to pester him as to why he doesn’t call you any more? Sure, here goes; it’s only fair since you asked for it (like a trillion times).

Remember the time you asked him if the thought of making love to you excited him? Remember how he deflected the question with a joke? Now here’s the real answer: Not once in his conscious thoughts or dreams was he able to imagine being intimate with you in ways you wanted. It might have vaguely fallen under the definition of sex, but it sure wasn’t an expression of love. Sure, he enjoyed the actual physical act, but in every situation, it was almost as though all he was doing was taking. He didn’t in the least care about how happy you were, or even care that it was you. He was demeaning, insensitive, and selfish. Now, this scared him, because in other instances—when he actually liked the woman—all that mattered to him was her happiness.

There, happy? Can’t you see why he might have had a problem with a relationship with you? Wouldn’t you rather not have known that?

Men don’t have the same sorts of inkling and sensitivities when it comes to relationships. But it doesn’t mean we lack feeling. We have our own mechanisms to figure out when things aren’t fine. Now do you still not believe in breaking up to be the right path? I’m sorry you didn’t get this verbose answer the first time you asked, but these are not the sorts of things which guys talk about. You pestering and acting all super-sleuthy will get you nowhere; nowhere pleasant, anyway.

Let it go, he’s just not into you.

Warning: Oh, and in the future, retarded comments correlating entries in my journal with Hindi movies will be deleted with extreme prejudice. Do not waste your time and mine.

This is a printer-friendly version of the journal entry “Uncherishables” from actuality.log. Visit http://emphaticallystatic.org/earlier/uncherishables/ to read the original entry and follow any responses to it.

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