Sunday, June the 21st, 2009

It was the second, perhaps the third, time that night. I had that sinking feeling of despair wash over me as I realised how little of a man I was. As I lay over that beautiful woman—wet and ready with her legs parted in invitation—I found myself doing the unthinkable. I was desperately holding my shrinking cock in my trembling hands and stroking furiously: I needed to be hard again. I needed to feel that wonderful sensation of her pussy lips wrapped around me once more. I needed to feel like the strong man towering over that delicate flower rocking rhythmically as I caressed her chest and face with my own.

I needed to be within her.

I am shrinking some more. Panic is beginning to set in. Her annoyed breaths are turning to sadness as she’s trying to egg me on. “Please,” she sighs, “don’t stroke yourself when you’re over me. Just enter me.” I could have died at that instant. I haven’t felt as little or as inadequate as I did right then. All I wanted to do was to show her how much I loved and needed her. All I ended up doing was to struggle to stay hard and convince her there was something wrong with her form.

I don’t deserve anyone, especially not such a gentle loving creature that adores me so. I don’t know what went wrong, but I am terrified.

Hey, wait a minute. That’s not how this story ended!

However the story did end, the moral of the tale is this: Don’t use newfangled muscle-relaxing, cock-desensitising, stay-hard-for-her-longer condoms.

This is a printer-friendly version of the journal entry “Ineffectual” from actuality.log. Visit to read the original entry and follow any responses to it.

6 Responses to “Ineffectual”

  1. adi says:

    I couldn’t help but notice one thing – you’ve tagged this post as candid and crayola.


  2. pundit says:

    I’ve not finished tagging old posts, but here is one from the past that should put this in context.

  3. adi says:

    Forgive my ignorance for I haven’t gone through your blog fully since my “return”. Thanks for the pointer.

    I’m not sure what you write is real or imaginary. But whatever it is, you write pretty darned well. Funny even. Ever considered writing as one of your career option?

  4. pundit says:

    I’m glad you enjoy reading the things I put down. And I thought about it. As I see it, not knowing whether my accounts are authentic or embellished with copious amounts of fantasy makes them all the more interesting. So that’s how things are going to stay. :)

    I have considered writing as a career option, and have been working on my first book since the end of last year. We’ll see how it turns out!

  5. adi says:

    Already started writing a book? Neat! Fiction? Will it be under a pseudonym or your real name?

    Btw, do you read a lot of books?

  6. pundit says:

    I started it under a pseudonym but I’ve decided to eventually bring it out under my real name.

    I used to read a lot of books when I was younger. I’ve started reading a lot now. There is a lost decade somewhere in between.

9,975,976 people conned into wasting their bandwidth.