General cluelessness and stupidity warning – IAJAG*.
I think a woman and a guy can be totally happy together, purely on the basis of him being her lifelong (extremely hard to do, yet you can delude yourself into thinking you can) “do it yourself” improvement project.
And I am not kidding, I really do.
There is obviously this intense need the female has, to improve aspects of her life. It can be something relatively small, like rearranging the furniture over and over again around her nest. But the scary part is, our male friend too can be happily clubbed into one of these aspects. Things can go on quite nicely, she believing he is someday going to step into that cocoon she’s built for him, the phat slug that he is now, and magically come out all pretty and butterflyey.
It’s like, we’ve awakened their inner carpenter. And we’re their friendly neigbourhood hardware store’s “get everything you need in one box” project kits. I mean the workbench, the work material AND the tool chest. (If you’re wondering, yes. I am especially proud I thought of tool chest. And that one word, or is that two? is the only reason this post even exists.)
ALL IN ONE KIT. Now which sane project doer can pass up such a deal?
It’s like, they’re just greedy. They’re the bedrock of society, caretakers of our children, the ones who uphold our values and ensure harmony … . They get to CREATE LIFE and ensure perpetuation of the people, AND YET, there is still a lurking need to create. To make something out of nothing. To make something of their man. Sure, these occasionally lead to these spots of bother and turbulence. I mean, once in a few years you will go through the, “But but, after all I’ve said and shown you, you HAVEN’T CHANGED. NOT ONE BIT”. (At which point, you’re like.. oh..kay, so is she violent because we aren’t better men yet, or she is beating herself up for not being too good at moulding the lump of clay she was handed.) But then again, they’re patient and forgiving. So they happily assume in time things will be different. For all their intelligence and sensitivity, there are some things they just don’t get.
We don’t change. We CAN’T change. We know this. You spend all that time and effort on attempting to improve us, but we’re not budging. Even if we do, we’ll still fake being our stupid selves. Isn’t it obvious why? That was an important component, admit it or not, of the attraction in the first place. If we’re suddenly all improved and mature and sensitive and nice and caring and clean and … where’s the challenge? We’re afraid you’ll happily move along to greener, (or is that less green) grazing grounds, and set about making them green.
We’re devious about this too. We assume they will assume we will change, and be patient. And I mean very patient. Banking on this, we just be who we are. In time, biological clocks and what not, we’re hoping to hear something like “Ok, I give up, I presume this is where your evolution chose to stop”, and accept us for who we are.
But then again, like I started off saying. What do I know? IAJAG*. We’re the ones who base our needs on extremely strong grounds.
*IAJAG – I am just a guy.