I’ve been missing writing about my life, and my (lack-of-)visitor-access-logs seem to indicate you’ve missed it too.
Recently, I’ve begun talking to the higher-ups about slowly winding up (down?) my stint in grad school, and moving on with my life. I’ve often fantasised about this period of my life, wherein I’ve envisioned soaring happily toward wondrous new opportunities. But in actuality, all I am is petrified. School is all I’ve known—its warm confines having been cosy and cocooning for so long—I now find my self nearing a crossroad where little seems clear to me.
Do I work on this, or was it that which caught my fancy? Who is going to hire someone so vague? Do I attempt for a position in Europe, or hover around here? What about India? What do I really care about? What am I looking for? Should I take a break to figure it all out? … Already floundering, struggling to find my way, I now also have the pleasure of juggling the whole “It’s high time you found a nice girl and ‘got settled,’ young man” routine.
All of which can be a tad overwhelming for a kid whose most important decisions largely present themselves at vending machines: “Do I hit the Coke button, or do I crave the lemony-lime goodness of Sprite today? Oh deary me, so many cold, sugary choices… I can’t decide. Arrgh!”