I’m not sure why Jack didn’t realise this earlier—narcissism perhaps?—but it just dawned on him that he might not be the easiest person in the world to live with. You see, Jack’s dad has been around for the past few days and Jack hasn’t been particularly accommodating; to say the least.
It turns out that Jack’s a neatness freak, or a control freak in general, and he wants what he wants done, the way he wants done, when he wants it done; that’s all. There ought to be no shenanigans, no clumsiness-induced spills, no random scattering of tissues, … . Under “his household,” every situation is monitored hawk-eyed, and he has a strong opinion on how “things ought to be done.” This goes right down to, for instance, how often and how thoroughly one must wash their hands, and Jack’s very vocal about it.
While this attitude may have some hope of success when dealing with few-year-olds, attempting to treat a fifty-year-old man like he’s two is an absolutely futile exercise. It’s just, Jack doesn’t realise this and goes about behaving the exact same way anyway; causing some unrest in people around. The points of contention between Jack and his dad stem from other things too, like how money ought to be donated or saved, or whether kids need to be adopted or not, or whether food must be made at home or eaten out, … but we’ll get into those another time.
For now, it’s apparent that Jack’s been living alone for so long, most of his recollections of events past are clouded by what he wants them to be. All along, he’s been assuming that the cause of past confusion have been insensitive roommates.
Perhaps the problem lay elsewhere.
You are too young and too masculine to be my mother.
Young perhaps. Masculine, that I am not too sure.
Now I’m bloody sure Jack and I are twins – long lost twins. There can’t be a bigger freak than me.
a) Every time I go to wash my hands, I wash twice, minimum. Once to wash off. Second to make sure it is clean. Third, to make sure it smells good. So if Jack wants tips on how to deal with the miseries of dry and peeling skin, we know whom to ask don’t we?
b) A few year olds simply drive me nuts. I could almost strangle them.
Jack needs to wash multiple times too—and yes, that includes washing off the water that was used to wash… which now needs to be washed off. (Someone correct that last sentence if it makes no sense.) People can call Jack and you fancy names like “obsessive-compulsive,” or whatever they want, but the truth is they’re jealous of your soft, clean, sweet-smelling hands.
Jack’s hands don’t seem to have a problem with dry and peeling skin. They’re actually rather soft and smooth. And pink! (An artefact of not doing an honest day’s work his entire life.)