Saturday, August the 2nd, 2003

I was at this Brazilian bar/grill on my last trip, and of course when it came down to actually ordering anything, I had to mention to the waitress, I’m a vegetarian. Of course, the first question I get is “So, do you eat salmon?”. I crack up :D, and go “No, I don’t”. Then I get the “Oh, so you’re a “for real” vegetarian”. I nod and smile. Anyway, this prompted me to lookup vegetarian in a real dictionary. Some real howlers.

vegetarian “veh-jeh-terr-ee-aan”

1. The idiots who try to tell us that soy beans substitute meat. They also forget that humans are designed with CANINE teeth to rip apart flesh, and a short digestive system that contains hydrochloric acid to quickly break down protein within 2 hours. Also, humans are NOT designed to eat only vegetables because WE CANNOT DIGEST CELLULOSE!!!! if we WERE true herbivores, we would have more than one stomach, and bacteria that cn break down cellulose. We also have large brains because of millions of years of eating MEAT and NOT tofu, plus we HAD to eat meat because we evolved in a place where food was hard to find so we had to eat what we could get, including animals.

Yup. I agree that Vegetarianists are incredibly stupid to ignore a few simple aspects of human anatomy.

Let’s put all the Vegetarianists on an island and populate it with lions, mosquitos, ticks, bears, crocodiles, snakes, wolves, and cougars, and enjoy watching the Vegetarianists try to preach their religious nonsense to these animals who will see them as food.

2. If you eat birds and marine animals, and any products made from animals, YOU ARE NOT A VEGETARIAN! And animal products include Jello, yogurt, ice-cream, butter, and eggs. Dumbass.

Vegetarian: I have been a vegetarian for eight years and I eat chicken, duck, fish, crabs, lobsters, shrimp, and oysters.
Meat Eater: (laughing) You are not a vegetarian.
Vegetarian: Yes I am.
Meat Eater: (pulls out biology book) Let’s see here…(turns to bird anatomy) I certainly don’t see plants with these kinds of organs…(turns to fish anatomy) or these organs…(turns to lobster anatomy) or these organs…(turns to oyster anatomy) or these organs. Have you even seen any of these animals while they are alive? What makes them so different from eating a dead cow or pig or sheep?
Vegetarian: (embarrased) Um…er…it’s just that…um…I don’t eat red meat, yeah and….um…red meat is blood meat..and..and..I DON’T LIKE BLOOD!
Meat Eater: But still you eat meat, and if you eat meat you are not a vegetarian.
Vegetarian: But..but..I AM! You’re trying to deceive me!
Meat Eater: I’m deceiving you? You said you are a vegetarian but you eat meat. Both are contradictory.
Vegetarian: Fuck you! Fuck you and burn in Hell with your murderous meat eating evil (stabs Meat Eater with hidden knife).
Meat Eater: (groaning in pain) Wow. I thought vegetarians were actually peaceful, reasonable people.

3. A cruel diet that is about eating plants.

I became a meatarian because I love plants too much to eat them. I saw pain, suffering, saddness, fear, and death.

4. a: Evil people who try to make us believe that we are not designed to eat meat, despite millions of years of proof that we are, indeed, omnivores. b: The diet of the Hindu (excluding the Hindu of Bali because they eat meat). c: What faggots, teenage/college girls, hippies, female Yuppies, and otherwise idiots like to call themselves, even though we all know they’re hiding a bucket of chicken wings in the fridge at home. d: A hypocrite who protests “Meat is Murder” while licking a honey-flavored ice cream cone.

I eat chicken and fish because I’m a vegetarian.

5. Hippies, soccer moms, yuppies, whale-savers, tree-huggers, horse-riders, horse-fuckers, fatties, sooks and any person with no canine teeth.

customer: I’ll have the vegetarian burgers, thanks.
serviceguy: With meat?
customer: AAAAAAH!!! *faints*
serviceguy: Heh heh heh.. next please!

6. A hypocryte. A person who only eats the LIVING cells of a vegetable or plant, while chastizing the rest of society for killing animals for food. Yes people, a vegetable is ALIVE when you eat it. Meat is dead.

The vegetarian imprisoned the living carrot in her cold, damp refridgerator, away from the sunlight that feeds it.
The vegetarian ripped apart the living tissue of the carrot with his teeth, dooming the carrot to a slow and cruel death by digestion.

7. A person who thinks that forcing omnivores to become herbivores improves the balance in nature.

A vegetarian is usually a retard.

No, I didn’t realize for one instant that we were such a) elitists b) hated.

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