Monday, August the 2nd, 2004

I morphed myself into this teenager yesterday and ended up watching a couple of hours of MTV 2. (Yes, it was hella fun.) Anyway, I happened to see this sequence of “The History Of” documentaries – one on tattoos and the other on body piercing. Apart from being informative (in the most useless sort of way), they inspired some thought. If you aren’t really the talented sorts and are unable (or even if you are and able) to express yourself the way you want to through traditional media, like art on paper, music, or words – you’ve still got a rather cool option. Thinking of something cool to say and having someone else do you. (Yes, I do choose my words with care.)

So, the rough approach to all of this seems to be:
1. Don’t give a rat’s posterior as to what anyone thinks or says to you.
2. Work out and so on, so when you are worked on, you won’t be embarrassed to show skin. (Of course, if you really got past 1, this doesn’t matter.)
3. Remove unnecessary body hair. (Painful, yes. And just what is unnecessary? I don’t know, ask a polar bear.)
4. Remember what you wanted to say. Have a grand, coherent master plan involving:
  – length, color and styling of hair,
  – number and positioning of piercing, and the corresponding bling you want hanging/sticking out
  – and finally, but just as important, position and nature of (oh-so-painful and irreversible) artwork.
5. Inform professionals of your vision in 4, and watch them try, hurt you, make you scream, and occasionally screw up while implementing 4.
6. Repeat 5 until ideas in 4 are complete.
7. Endure weeks (or months) of physical pain while wounds heal.
8. Stop bleeding.
9. Grandly show yourself to the world.
10. Get kicked out of home and written out of the will.
11. Look like (but not be) a crack head and realize you’re finally cool.

Why? Because you finally said what you wanted to. Who cares if you had to use someone else’s skill and you were just the canvas.

Now all I need is something to say. Hmm.

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