The following is a “trackback” to a post on another journal. This is my first trackback ever to anywhere, so I am not entirely sure as to whether this is the right way of going about it. Either way, here goes.
I didn’t realise kids could be so mean; especially over something so trivial. I’ve obviously been to school in a different system, and I don’t think there was this clear a separation between the “cool kids” and the “uncool kids” in my case. In any event, there wasn’t an undue amount of pressure to be a part of the cooler kids. Either that or I was inadvertently a part of the cooler kids, or just was too stupid to notice.
I’d like to think I would have shrugged something like this off. I’ve spent all my life totally outside the system—in terms of not forming an opinion because it’s “the cool thing” to do—and for the most part have ended up independent, original, and fully capable of making up my own mind regardless of what the mob does.
People seem to respect/admire this aspect of my life. But I am not so sure at times; it really is an oddly double-edged sword. (I tried to think of another reference considering what you just said, but my brain seemed to blank-out on me. Sorry.)
After an entire life of building an identity totally independent of what other people have to say about it, I sometimes yearn for just a few minutes of normalcy with a crowd where I just go ahead and do something, “just because everyone else is doing it”. I don’t care if it’s the stupid thing to do. I don’t want to be alone and cool—respected or otherwise—I just want to be accepted.
But I can’t. I’ll immediately declare it the irrational thing to do—and appear smart, or aloof, but definitely alone.