Sunday, March the 7th, 2004

Try this. Next time you’re, say, in the shower don’t think of, say, Eskimos, and I’ll give you this big bag of money. Yes, Eskimos. Just don’t think of them. Anything but, you heard me, ESKIMOS.

I know it’s hard and I doubt you can do it. That’s kinda sorta been the story of my weekend. I’ve tried so fishing hard to be normal. I’ve tried so hard to just sit down and enjoy a movie. To forget sad events attached to movies. To be able to watch 30s of the film without this pang of emotion shooting through me… and for what? Shouldn’t I have forgotten by now? They obviously mean very little in the grand scheme of things. What is wrong with me?

And I tried it both ways, a Moulin Rouge DVD last evening (my favorite musical, though I haven’t seen too many movie musicals, I admit) and Mystic River in the theater earlier today. It was a very good movie, extremely serious, dark (and hence sad) with everyone acting very well (Tim Robbins especially). Quite interestingly, they all spoke without pronouncing their ‘R’s’. “The goils aww wather late awwent they?” – Kinda like a cross between Elmer Fudd and a Mafia guy from Italy (or wherever else these types are generically assumed to spring from). It screamed Massachusetts before it was made clear where the story was set. It’s just your usual story formula – evil child molestation ruining childhood (and hence life), coupled with hot woman dying, a whole lot of (well reasoned out) violence, and obviously a generous dose of sadness. It was very disturbing, but was brilliantly portrayed, if that’s how one has to put a positive spin on these sorts of things. Movie goers apparently want more reality in the movies. Not fantasy. These people should just see more of the news. Just what is wrong with happy endings? Why couldn’t that be real?

But a movie review wasn’t where I wanted to go with this. It’s this need to rid myself of senseless emotion. After a point I begin to wonder whether it’s the sad thoughts I have attached to the events that is bothering me, or whether it’s the extreme effort taken to forget them running behind “normalcy”. It’s pretty messed up. I hate being this way.

NP. All Saints – Saints and Sinners
(Yes, that’s right. The girl band. I do things when no one is looking you know.)

This is a printer-friendly version of the journal entry “Mystic River (between pangs)” from actuality.log. Visit to read the original entry and follow any responses to it.

2 Responses to “Mystic River (between pangs)”

  1. Adi says:

    hmm…I didnt quite like Moulin Rouge. Its nowhere near the standards of any Gene Kelly movie especially An American in Paris or Singin’ in the Rain. But its not so bad for a modern day musical. Its just that they lack the class or style of the older musicals.

    As for Mystic River, I havent seen it. I’m curious since both Tim Robbins and Sean Penn won the oscars. Although, in my humble opinion, I felt that Bill Murray or Johnny Depp should have won them. Its damn hard to act well in comedies.

    Anyways, coming to the point, I usually see depressing movies when I’m sad, lonely since they kinda uplift me(and vice versa). I dunno why but it works well for me. It just reinforces the feeling that I’m not alone in the world. There are people who go through the same crap. I highly recommend ‘Talk to Her’, a Spanish film. Its a dark comedy but its really uplifting (for me atleast).

  2. wahgnube says:

    I am not a fan of old. Old meaning classic things. Movies, music or anything else for that matter. But I know enough about music to make informed judgements on the coolness of something. Movies, no. Just some random impressions that don’t mean anything. I mean, for instance, I really liked Moulin Rouge, but I have little basis for comparison on some absolute scale.

    Tim Robbins was very good. Johnny Depp was very good too, but what’re you going to do. Sean Penn was overrated IMO.

    I like happy movies to escape reality. Not like reality is bad or anything, but I like sickeningly happy. Just unbelievably perfect circumstances where unbelievably nice things happen. Those make me cry (happy tears).

    If I wanted anything else, like I said, I’ll watch the news.

8,759,072 people conned into wasting their bandwidth.