Why I don’t write for the NY Times

From the opening paragraph on their review of the Macbook Pro:

“Remember the famous five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance? If you’re a fan of the Macintosh computer, meet the five stages of switching to Apple’s new laptop: lust, anticipation, delight, dismay and waiting.”

I wish I were as articulate as that when it came to expressing myself.