Tag: annoyed

Twilet-down

It was around three o-clock in the morning. I was startled as my front door swung open and a dog rushed into my home! It took me a couple of seconds to recover and realise what was going on, and by the time I did, she was gone. It turns out that my neighbour upstairs had mistakenly opened my door after a night out, and her excitable dog that was with her got excited. Two things: 1. I’ve made this mistake before (more than once!), so it’s not a big deal. 2. People should really start locking their doors.

But why was I so startled? What was I even doing up at that hour?

I was violently flailing my arms around like a spastic trying to get my fucking character on screen to follow my directions. After spending over 50 hours over the past few weeks on it, I’d finally reached the main evil baddie of the Zelda game on the Wii (The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess), and I was still having difficulty getting my on-screen avatar, Link, to perform basic tasks; tasks that have been trivial to perform from day one in past Zelda games using “traditional” control schemes.

Link from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Perhaps an hour later, I finally finished the damn game so that I could get back to other aspects of my life, but I still can’t get over how vaguely unsatisfying it all was. In the hope that ranting about it will help me get over it, I am going to pinpoint aspects of the experience that especially sucked:

  • The last two epic Zelda games that I played (The Wind Waker on the GameCube and Phantom Hourglass on the DS) oozed nothing but polish. Twilight Princess, on the other hand, feels hobbled together.
  • While I don’t inherently dislike the art direction (well, maybe I do), I hate the greatly varying quality in the visuals one is presented with over the course of the game. Some levels and characters are absolutely gorgeous, and others, well, are plain blocky and jagged.
  • The “fancy Wii control scheme” feels both tacky and tacked on. The controls aren’t as responsive as they should have been, and the camera is awkward to control. This really does feel like a GameCube game with some Wii stuff thrown in after the fact.

  • I know you shouldn’t turn to a Zelda game (or a Mario game, or a Metroid game, or any long-standing Nintendo franchise, really) for an epic original storyline. Things usually go something like:

    1. Stupid princess gets abducted yet again by the bad guy.
    2. You drop whatever it is you do and head out to rescue her.
    3. She thanks you, but obviously fails to learn that doors have locks on them for a reason.

    But Twilight Princess was particularly unsatisfying. The game is really linear, so you’re never lost looking for what you should be doing next, but the storyline fails to properly motivate any of it. The game doesn’t even try to develop any of its characters, save for one, so on some level you don’t really care if you live or die, whether the princess gets rescued, whether the bad guy gets defeated, or really, even who the main bad guy is.

  • There are very few real exploratory side quests and exploration is rarely rewarded. You see a suspiciously hidden chest far away; you figure out what you need to obtain to scale the mountain to get to the damn chest; only to see it contains a trifle of money, even which you can’t fit in your inventory. This sort of thing sucks the joy out of trying to explore and find things, and somewhere along the way, you stop trying.

I could go on and on like this, but I think I’ve worked the bile out of my system. I just hope the next Zelda game on the Wii is more polished and doesn’t leave a bitter after-taste when done. But however it turns out, I’m quite certain that the next Zelda installment on the DS, Spirit Tracks, will be enjoyable. I can’t wait for it to come out!

Screams in the night

2 Comments

I was rudely awakened from a horrific nightmare a few minutes ago to the even more horrible sound of a terrified woman wailing. This was accompanied by the banging of doors, heavy stomping and other unabashed signs of an argument. This, however, isn’t a particularly new experience for me as my luck with neighbours follows a distinct pattern. But what was grating though was the woman’s annoying voice.

Even though her distress was obvious, I couldn’t once get myself to feel sorry for her or even have my usual (tainted) good Samaritan aspiration—where I contemplate knocking on their door to find out if all is well, despite the distinct possibility of getting beaten up (or worse), under the grand illusions of the payoffs accompanying rescuing a damsel in distress.

But her frickin’ whiny voice. Arggh! She’s causing my ears to bleed.

Oh, it’s suddenly gotten all quiet now.

And it’s been that way for a few minutes. Oh good, she must have run away or he must’ve killed her. Thank goodness. Now I can peacefully return to battling my own inner demons.

A programming note: Since the introduction of µ, a micro-journal featuring extremely small entries, my writing skills have gone further south.

Marriages — Moms’ eye view

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Not so recent background: I was talking to my mom when I was back home about “marriage and stuff”. By which I mean I was mentioning classmates getting married and what not. That slowly led to a lot of “stuff” that’s not really pertinent to the discussion here. Anyhoo, that ended with her vehemently declaring 23 is too young to get married, and I sat through her rather long spiel. OK, so no one’s in any real hurry now, are they?

Recent background: A few days ago, I get an e-mail from her telling me my oldest friend is getting married. Now, this friend’s mom is one of my mom’s best friends. The kicker here is, my friend’s 23.

Hilarity ensues.

Excerpts from a conversation with her today:

I say:

now, regarding d’s marriage, what happened to the 23-is-too-young mindset now?

mom says:

i think the guy’s parents put a lot of pressure and even now these people don’t know how they were talked into it.

mom says:

engagement should take place this sunday.

I say:

that’s easily one of the dumbest excuses i’ve heard

I say:

anyway, just wanted to tell you that’s the real world. not 23-is-too-young

mom says:

ok.got it

mom says:

i guess when they thought about the whole thing,they had no reason for not proceeding

mom says:

apparently heard decent stuff about the boy and all that

I say:

except of course her education, career opportunities, time to try and do fun things, gather life experience etc.

mom says:

right

…

mom says:

things happen all the time wahgnube,and some decisions change.That cannot be helped

I say:

then you must not sound hell bent otherwise until 20 seconds prior

I say:

people need to learn to make up their minds and be consistent

mom says:

ok.

I say:

and further more, i remove your ‘they’re so young’ saying rights when i mention classmates of mine are / are getting married

mom says:

ok.

mom says:

i only meant as in boys and not girls

I say:

that’s even stupider sounding

I say:

because we’re less responsible, immature and incapable?

mom says:

not you,but most boys may not be capable of handling family responsibilities at 23-24

mom says:

thats all.But there are exceptions

I say:

that’s besides the point. you cannot have double standards. what sort of example, as a parent, are you setting for your son?

mom says:

generally it takes a boy in this part of the world around 26-27 to gethis footing in life

mom says:

no double standards wahgnube.

I say:

ergo it’s ok for a woman to get married whenever, but it isn’t for men. you encourage men to be doctors and woman to marry them? hah

I say:

i love the way i worded that

mom says:

then again,if i had a daughter i might have got her married at 23-24.who knows?

I say:

that’s going to be my catchphrase that owns all catchphrases for this sort of discussion with anyone, ever

mom says:

i can see that

…

mom says:

are you in a frame of mind to settling down in life(as in having a family etc)?

I say:

no, but that’s not the point is it?

mom says:

exactly the point.Different people are different

I say:

the point is you will somehow magically decide i am not ready even if i felt i was

I say:

but if i were a woman you’d say ok, fine

mom says:

i wil not.Even if i was given the slightest inkling of your need to settle down,i will be the first one to go with it

I say:

i am just having a blast because just two weeks prior you were telling me how young everyone is and now this happens

I say:

and you’re apparently totally ok with this, but not with anything else

…

I say:

point in all of this being, this is how the world seems to work.

mom says:

i get the picture

I say:

and it is surprising i’ve noticed some things regarding its functioning that other people miss

I say:

which is a very very rare occurrence i might add

mom says:

nobody attaches so much importance to each and every occurrence

I say:

i do, because this is a big deal, and this is so anti how you sounded a short while ago.

mom says:

hey,i am not anti-marriage

I say:

who said anti marriage? i said anti 23 year olds getting married

mom says:

right.i stand corrected

I say:

and i am patenting my “encourage men to be doctors and women to marry them” quote

I say:

it will go down in the annals of history as one of the most brilliantly articulate takes on what’s so blatantly obvious

mom says:

ok.time for a change of topic, now

I’m going to hell, aren’t I?