All entries tagged 'baby'

Wednesday, July the 26th, 2006

During a recent flight, I came across, arguably, the hottest mom ever; and I really mean that superlatively so. She was barely in her 20s, had a gorgeous face, soft-flowing hair, was super slim with a teeny waist and yet oh-so curvy. She had the tiniest shirt on and the tightest jeans riding down to her mid-thighs, cutely exposing her purple-string bikini.

But, I really wasn’t paying attention.

I, was generally cooing, peek-a-booing and gurgling throughout the journey, as I was having fun with my new single-serving friend. She was gleefully cuddling up in my arms and bouncing away excitedly on my lap; and her serenely-happy, somewhat-tired glow later indicated that she was as pleased with this bonding as I was. Now, it was time for her sippy-cup filled with orange juice.

You must realise, of course, that I am speaking of the woman’s most adorable little few-year-old girl. You know, the kinds with a smile that can melt a glacier or three? Yes, one of those kids.

As I was getting off, this other woman—also arguably (superlatively) cute—approaches me all-excitedly (and gurgley!) and tells me that she’d observed me playing with “my little one,” and found us adorable together. She then animatedly began to talk to me, using words implying that she was thoroughly impressed, somewhat amused and quite entertained.

I am unsure who was sadder as I was informing her that she wasn’t my little one.


Friday, April the 21st, 2006

No matter how much you’re concerned for your friendly neighbours and would love to give them an evening off; don’t give-in to the urge to volunteer baby-sitting their baby—especially if the (now-not-so-) darling little angle is progressing through the final stages of her teething phase; or you don’t know what you’re doing.

Whatever you do, if in the process of baby-sitting her, she spits up into your tee, let it go. You can change later. Really, it’s no big deal.

As you begin to change—after gingerly giving-in to lowering her for a bit and keeping her in plain sight—whatever you do, put on another shirt before returning to her; even if she’s begun to wail. Really, it doesn’t take more than five seconds.

Whatever your “instincts” tell you, do not cradle the wailing baby to your exposed chest while attempting to console her. No, really. Presenting a decoy, non-functioning teat to a baby with tiny (but surprisingly effective) teeth is just asking for it.

But it’s not like you’d ever get yourself into such a situation now, would you?

8,937,921 people conned into wasting their bandwidth.