Month: April 2004

Went home to sleep after a few days. Warm, comfortable beds are good. 12 hours of emulating a petrified log later, my eyelids are open on their own accord. (As opposed to being propped up by little twigs made of caffeine.)

However, it’s times like this I wish I were something analogous to a president (no names here) of a country. You know, the kinds that have huge armies of violent people under their command willing to carry out their order. So I can look at life and go “Bring it on!” (or something similar) and relax at home with the kids or my cat or whatever, while my minions do the deeds I ask them to – vanquish my foes. (In a sort of gung ho way – “Terminate with extreme prejudice” sort of thing.) I wish I were cool (or dumb) enough to go “Bring it on!”.

And there has been some talk about me having to “reconsider” my trip back home. Hmm.

Update: Listened to Incubus :: A Crow Left Of The Murder… :: Megalomaniac some 17 times over an hour and a half or some such. Ah yes, the ability to sing (offtuneishly) along. Think I’m in love. Floria Sigismondi.

It’s some 3 AM and I am THIS CLOSE to breaking down on all levels.

*Crushes index finger into thumb*

*Takes deep breath and puts on semi serious eyes*
(Semi serious eyes with a hint of a tearlet.)

THIS CLOSE.
(Making the gap between them infinitesimal. Obviously, signifying how close he is to breaking down. Doesn’t even feel enough to realize he’s hurting said fingers while being all dramatic. And what levels? Physical, emotional, intellectual, social?, spiritual?, and anything else you’d care to pile on there.)

*Looks around hoping to see a pleasant yet totally destructive natural calamity cause in close proximity*

*Continues to periodically pinch self to hopefully wake from what is just an evil nightmare*

I hope the tears dont stain the world that waits outside
Where did it all go wrong?

Sigh.

I made time for the tax thing and the software on the site that’s supposed to help me prepare it is down.

Just great.

Hmm. Dozed off at work for something like an hour. Just woke. That hasn’t happened before, not during sane hours anyway.

I’m very drained. I am not getting anywhere with anything. All of this sucks.

People suck. Complicated things suck. Tension sucks. Life sucks.

I want to go to sleep and wake up with everything the way it should have been. I don’t want to deal with any of it.

Broken code.
Adhoc additions to said broken code.
Sheesh, the word adhoc and its connotation.
Insufficient test prep.
The existence of tests.
Tons of piled up homework.
The existence of homework.
Lack of understanding of what’s going on in classes due to not doing said homework.
Taxes. 300 fishing forms asking me stuff I don’t particularly know or care for.
Sleep deprivation.
People referring to me as “guy with the nice hair” or some such, and NOTHING ELSE.
As in, when all you need to be is something more to said people.

Insufficient knowledge, heart, skill, ability to work or enthusiasm to fix any of this.

Fish. Life sucks.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnat tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Fcuknig amzanig huh?

Tihs infromtaion was sotlen from smoewhere esle.

And I’m well. Well, relatively anyway. It’s not like I have run out of photos to post here, but I’ve decided to stop doing that. Once I got the system up and running to upload my photos to galleries on the photo page, I decided to slow down with the pushing of substandard content here.

Unless, I really have something to say about/with the photos anyway.

Now on to life. Hmm. Work, reading, libraries, studying, exams, homework, studying, taxes, changes, roomies, homes, studying, shopping. Should about cover it.

A lamp and its reflection.

The new photo page is live. Most albums have been enhanced or expanded. And new ones have been added.

Yes, small bits like the favorites are still broken. But in general it looks and behaves a lot better.

Forgot to post this when I posted the update to the photo page.

A small box of some sort that is supposed to hold something. Like a candle? I don’t quite know.

After mucking around for a very long time with ORIGINAL and Gallery, I decided to hack my own (very very ugly) bash script to generate the photo pages automagically from a bunch of photos thrown into a folder. Here are the results.

A test new gallery: ann arbor art fair
The older one for comparison: ann arbor art fair

Once I iron the kinks out, generating all the (new, improved? and expanded) photo pages should be a piece of cake.
In theory.

Now is the only time you can give me comments like “It sucks.” and expect me to look into why it sucks. So use it wisely.
Please, I mean.

Taken on a day when getting out of bed seemed like too much.
So I didn’t.

SCIENTISTS say, size does matter.

How cold should a place be to be called “cold dwelling” anyway? It goes down to -20 degrees C or some such here at the worst of times. I am sure it can be called “cold”.

Evil and scary science magazines.

I know I said I wouldn’t let what she said/didn’t say be the only determinant of my state of happiness. And I am trying, but it is extremely hard to do.

Today, there was a sentence spoken that involved me, the words “love” and “in”, and was spoken in the past tense. By the sound of it, and to a rational observer, this is just further driving force to plunge me into depths of depression. But none of that happened.

I am beyond ecstatic. I am happy, and recursively happier as a result. Positive feedback loops rock, in special circumstances.

I don’t feel like a weird experiment that went awry anymore. :D And it feels awesome.
(That is the first real smiley I’ve used here in god knows how long.)