Thursday, May the 27th, 2004

I feel fishing horrid.

I am deficient. And it’s not something that can be cured by some stupid vitamin deficiency pill. Who’s to say what’s important in this world? Who’s to say what’s the appropriate ‘testing mechanism’ to quantify how ‘good’ you are in all those regards? If you haven’t really experienced someone, would you even see their score card? So what if you don’t measure up to other better players on the score card? Does that mean you’re automatically destined to a life of mediocrity and unhappiness? What sort of lame system is that.

We don’t arbitrarily pick out the dumb kids and throw them out of school telling them they’d forever amount to less now do we? We observe them better, spend more time with them, help them out and soon, they’re having all the opportunities and experiences everyone else has. Why does this have to be the case in aspects that don’t really affect me, but have to be a lot more stern in areas I can’t easily handle myself?

God damn it. I was bordering on normal-to-happy just a few hours ago. What did I do to deserve this constantly happening to me? I’m a decent person. I don’t harm anything or anyone. Shouldn’t there be some sort of rule against being hurt?

Maybe it’s a guy hormone thing. Who knows?

NP. Led Zeppelin – The Best of

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