Wednesday, January the 21st, 2004

Got things done to a decent enough level (as judged by someone who’d gone for some 50+ hours without sleep, so you never really know), and headed home for a while in the early afternoon. It isn’t much, but you do begin to miss your bed after not being in it a couple of nights. Curled up, felt (not uncharacteristically) cozy, and didn’t stir for four or so hours. A quick stop at a chic café, and the bodily systems recharge is some 80% complete. I don’t know what it is about cafés, but now I want to walk around in a beret.

Away time from home has resulted in few pleasant surprises. First, we’re on broadband. Secondly, my computer is fixed and now all I have do is pick it up. Third, though this can’t be classified as pleasant, got some paperwork related to taxes. Imagine me, all grown up and paying taxes.

Some scary stuff in the outside world though. Admittedly, “formal” relativistic mechanics (as in any such crash course style quantum leap in conception, just enough to get by for the next day) was totally new to me and scared me more than I am going to admit. (Us engineers are more Galilean and extremely classical in our perception of space and time. For starters, they are distinct objects. We like to keep things simple, and within our realm of comprehension. I can’t believe I said us engineers.) But the scary part in all of this is that the class strength seemed to have dropped to 60% just a day after these conceptual jumps were required to be made. And these are people who’ve been doing this and related things on this level for a long time now. Was I being foolhardy by sticking around when I clearly lack prerequisite insight essential to comprehending such things? I don’t know. I hope not. It is refreshingly different, and hence excitingly interesting. I just hope there aren’t any unpleasant crash and burnisms in the future.

But I’m not entirely sure even that was as unnerving as being reminded I don’t always portray enough of how I really feel. And place undue strain on peoples’ ESP. For no real reason, these lyrics come to mind,

I don’t know what it is
That makes me feel alive
I don’t know how to wake
The things that sleep inside
I only wanna see the light
That shines behind your eyes

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