Sunday, January the 15th, 2006

actuality dot log—Now cool enough to rip itself off.
(This is like one of those flashback episodes you see on major sitcoms from time to time.)

On the one hand, you have the ungratefuls who ask you question after question, but don’t thank you politely for your patient replies, or even once stop in to say hello.

On the other, you have the retards who can’t spell or form a sentence, and you realise they’re a lost cause, not worthy of real help. So you choose to mock them instead.

On the other hand (yes, I’m an alien with three hands), you have the jokers who think insulting you or your efforts is the optimal way of receiving help. The following is an (honest to god, not cooked up) e-mail “conversation” I had. (For newcomers, the page in question is this).

He says: (emphasis mine)

just went through your site !…..

I was looking at my prospects of joining umich (3.7/5.0) :(, my poor grades hope they are not sufficient to make it to umich, i’ve presented some papers and won two design contests.

looking at the way wrote things it looks that you are in real pain torture what not ? i ‘ m kind of afraid of …….how do u like umich and research wht r the prospects after that….. well im taking lilberties to write like this all of my junk…just as you did it in your website, I hope you don’t mind it.

Please guide me on pursuing higher studies, i wud like to work in automobiles industry.
Hope brother,you find some of your crucial time and respond,


I say:

And where did I say anything even remotely implying I was in ‘real pain torture what not’?

He says: (emphasis mine)

I just had a feeling that u were spoiling ur website and not doing justice to the space provided to u. Anways i went a bit far with my incisive comments. I didn’t intend to hurt you.
I read ur masterpiece – penile rights or sth?/
anyways i was just havin fun typin, you r taking things seriously bro,

guide me,
waiting for ur reply
enjoy and tc

If I weren’t such a nice guy at heart, I think I would have turned rather violent at some point, rapidly accelerating the brewing of this altercation.

Happy waiting, retard.

This is a printer-friendly version of the journal entry “Various hues of idiot” from actuality.log. Visit to read the original entry and follow any responses to it.

9 Responses to “Various hues of idiot”

  1. J says:

    Oh WOW! You are so damn cool!

  2. pundit says:

    What brought that up all of a sudden? Are we worthy of an explanation?

  3. niyati says:

    well mister three hands, also bastion of calm, composed rationalism (were the gods watching when you said that?), the mind boggles. these ‘incisive comments’ are funny-haha too. i do envy you! i shall advertise my swanky alma mater too on my page. people who want to (and did!) study fashion, tend to deviate strongly from the normal curve. With what a spring in the step each day shall now be greeted…hope of fodder to mock at :):)

  4. niyati says:

    and btw, i LOVE the title.

  5. J says:

    Well, you can sing, you can write, you can draw, you can bake, you can blah blah blue… at least that’s what you say. So can’t I say WOW for all that?

  6. Pramila says:

    only three? last time i checked u seemed to have had more! …gave one helping hand too many eh?

    how be you?

  7. pundit says:

    niyati: Glad you loved the title. Honestly, the title and the tag line “Now cool enough to rip itself off” were the main course. The rest of the stuff was just a loosely crafted delivery mechanism!

    I would strongly advice against going the route of advertising swanky alma mater on pages. While getting spammed is great fun initially, it gets old soon. If you’re really that eager, I’d love to forward some of my howlers as they come in. But no, they won’t have that special flavour that comes from strong deviations from the normal curve.

  8. pundit says:

    J: Obviously, a “thank you very much dear” is in order.

    I’m quite elated that someone finds me cool. Not just any cool, but damn cool!

  9. pundit says:

    Pramila: Hello hello, welcome back! I just checked, still the three. I am doing quite well. Still in graduate school, still avoiding the big-bad-real-world like the plague. Excitedly learning far more than a normal person ought to.

    How be things with you?

9,978,052 people conned into wasting their bandwidth.