Month: September 2003

   .oooO
   (       )
     \    (     Oooo.
        \_)    (       )
                 )    /
 GNOME   (_/

I just realized I’ve been spending waay to much time at the uni. I mean, I’m awake, and I’m here. I go home at 12-1, I sleep. That’s been life for the past few weeks. At least if I was insanely productive and getting stuff done at a pace I’d like, it would be fine, I think. But it’s not. I feel like I’m always here, (not always doing anything, but) doing enough within given limitations, and yet very little is actually being done.

And in the middle of all of this, I haven’t been feeling so good over the past couple of days. It’s a sickish feeling caused by a sore throat and mild fever (though I really can’t tell how mild, or whether it’s a fever even, because I just realized I don’t own a thermometer) that’s not doing too much damage. But it is irritating, and dulling.

I don’t think it has anything to do with the kind of (not) work I’m putting in, but I’m beginning to have a sneaky feeling it might.

Slept in today, and it hasn’t really helped.

I’m too tired to do too much more. Just had to, it being International Talk Like a Pirate Day and all.

Things aren’t supposed to be like this. Now I’m all guilty.

I kind of sort of confronted my roommate about the.. noisy breathing. And instead of getting all defensive and “Oh, it’s not something under my immediate control”, he’s all like “Oh, you should have brought it up earlier, how inconsiderate of me, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

And he has, for the past two nights.

Sure, it’s all quiet (considering the clock has gone too), but now I’m feeling all not nice and rude and guilty and all that. Things aren’t supposed to be like this.

Here they are, my answers to Anita’s interview questions.

ATCGW*!

I have shuffled around their order, roughly in increasing order of how difficult I found thinking about the answers. Yes, stupid as they may sound, I did put in some thought.

1. If you had to switch to a completely different field, one totally unrelated to engineering of any sort, what would you choose?

I’d love to switch to a field related to music. I mean this even without the “had to”. Of course, I’m not really sure what I’d do if I did switch, but I am pretty sure that’s where I’d likely end up. I would assume exposing myself to and training myself in classical vocal (and while we’re really taking a leap of faith, instrumental) music of any sort will be fun.

Making a living out of it if possible will be a bonus.

And strangely, thinking about it, even becoming a critic or a conductor sound like fabulous things to do. I guess it’s because somehow, I am associating them with less work than the actual performer.

2. What’s the deal with you and your love for leaving comments in blogs?

I thought about this a bit. Was it something trivial, like time on my hands? or something devious, like attempting to guilt people into reciprocating?

No, it wasn’t really either.

I spend more time on some blogs than others (like everybody else), for different reasons. I think this commenting thing is my way of compensating for something. I really don’t communicate a whole deal actually, and this, in some weird way, makes me feel heard? I feel this is why, even if I’m not able to be entirely lucid.

And in my defense, before it’s scribed in stone that I don’t really have a life, I only ‘love to leave comments’, at a few places :). How few is few? Well, that’s a different story. The point is, these few places, feel… different. In a very good way. In an I am not entirely uncomfortable saying something sort of way?

3. The one thing that always reminds me of Ann Arbor are ladybugs. What one thing do you think will always make you have AA flashbacks long after you’ve left?

I think it’s a bit premature for me to definitively answer this question right now. I haven’t been here a very long time. Right now however, there is this one evening I can’t forget.

It was an unusually cold winter night when a little shower left everything, from plants to telephone wires with these frozen stalactite thingies. It was also a full moon, and the light from the moon and a few street lights made the whole place have this eerie yet extremely pretty yellow orange glow.

That coupled with the glistening and shimmering everything was, quite a stunning sight and one of the cooler experiences of my life. I was up until the wee hours of the morning running around like an excited 3 year old, taking it all in (and nearly freezing).

I don’t think I will ever forget this for a long while. Right now, my thought path is,

Ann Arbor -> cold -> that evening.

And yes, it was one of those Kodak moments, literally.

4. Aside from family and friends, what do you miss most about India?

This took a bit of time. The horrid truth is, I miss very little really, I guess apart from close family.

I missed a few generic things, like the mentality of the people. Stuff like work not being the top of their priority list. Stuff like not having to go through pseudo “Great day, and how are you today?” sort of conversations, while not really giving a damn, with arbitrary people. I miss the beach, which is very strange. I was never too much of one to really be at the beach. It just bothers me a bit when I realize now the sea isn’t walking distance away. For no real reason, I am quite averse to large bodies of water.

Being the geek that I am, I did miss one of my computers a bit.

But after some thought, the thing I miss most is something totally mundane. I really miss that there is really very little public transport in most parts here. It’s like, I miss the freedom or something? Sure there are buses and so on, inside campus. But not too great if you really want to go anywhere.

I have never really been comfortable with driving around, probably because of the roads and drivers where I am from. I just like being taken? to places. Not that I have too many places to go :), it’s for those few times that I do.

5. What do you not miss at all?

I guess I pretty much answered this during the last question. I really do miss very little. If I really went about listing it all, this post will tend to get a lot larger than it already is. Not to mention annoy a few people :), and I don’t have the time to deal with all of that given my *cough* busy schedule and all that.

Particularly, what some people find strange to believe, I really don’t miss the kind of food I’m generally assumed to be “used to”.

It’s not like I’m particularly adjusting or anything close. I wouldn’t even classify myself as one who tries too many new things too often. Yet, I’m pretty happy, actually more than that, with most sorts of odd cuisine (odd within limits, like it’s from a plant) from different parts of the world.

I’m late and trying to catch up, but better late than never.

*ATCGW – And the crowd goes wild.
(Stolen from a funny story about one of Dave’s previous math teachers who uses ATCGW as a replacement for QED at the end of proofs.)

Here are the rules:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment saying, “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions – each person’s will be different.
3. You will update your journal with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Free Software or not, you know something is not entirely good when it’s abusing system resources. Not entirely good.

Just got back from a party at Aarons. It was good fun. I need to do “stuff”, a bit more often. Anyway, this was more of a gathering of people, I mean, at least, no furniture was broken this time :).

Conversations before this. “Hey her-reesh, you want something specific to eat? You’re vegetarian right?” I go, “No, anything vegetarian is fine, thanks”.

Standard response, “God, that’s so specific, all I eat is meat”.

I remembered the earlier vegetarian post. It’s like I’m part of some poor rare misunderstood species, in a good way. I got to play a part in deciding the vegetarian menu for the SES meet. Stuff like that.

And, I need an XBOX, or a Playstation. Actually, I want a GameCube. First I need a $400 video card for a machine, which I am not able to get myself to buy. Hmm.

A myriad of small changes forces a version number bump to v0.1.5b. The beta tag remains because many pages are in flux and/or are horribly broken. Frequent updates until a stable release should ensue as it’s falling together in my head.

Not been near my computers for a while. I mean, I have been, but not too much longer than just checking email and that sort of thing. Life moves along just fine, though I’m doing a bit more than I am comfortable doing.

And the really freaky thing is, I am not really getting anything done.

Ahh well, anyway, got do document some stuff before I forget it. Firstly, it’s getting colder. Last evening, I actually ‘almost shivered’ during the walk back home. Granted, it was almost 12 at night, it had just drizzeled, and I was in shorts and a tee, but it shouldn’t be cold.

It will get worse and worse until, well, it is almost this time next year when it is warm for a bit.

That’s not the only thing, I was out all day, until that time getting arbitrary things done towards classes and work and all that. Too lazy to come home and make a salad or whatever, I picked up a pizza on the way home.

Thank goodness they work late.

Ate. and crashed. I needed to be up early the next day. Then I hear it, tick.. tick.. TICK… WHAT’S with clocks and their incessant ticking? I was hmm, violent to say the least. Ran and ripped out the batteries.

I need to get people around digital clocks or whatever it is that’s silent. And smash these existing ones to teeny bits, for no reason. Just for me to feel good.

Then, it’s supposed to be quiet. And then it starts. Ahh well, neighbors upstairs, squeaky bed. I just have to assume they have invisible kids and these kids like trampolines.

Fifteen minutes or so later, it’s quiet again. Sleep, I need sleep. So I guess I fall asleep. In a little bit, I am awakened by a snoring roommate. Now I am mad. Madder I mean.

Too tired to do anything about anything, I move to the living room couch, and what’s the problem now? That’s occupied bt a guest of a roommate.

Oh my god, I can’t win.

Or can I. I figured out some (problem I think) with my left ear. I can do some funky pressing it in odd places to “block” it. It feels like.. how it feels when you’re coming out of a pool or something after your ears are fully.. full. Anyway, with one ear blocked and the other fully pressed into a pillow, sleep is just a few short minutes away.

Disabilities are not always a bad thing?

ARGGHH.

I thought I was being real smart by typing this at some odd place thinking I won’t be disturbed so I can get some moderately cohesive thoughts out. I was wrong.

So much for answering the questions at this time.

The spot I picked out HAD to be the meeting area for some group organizing something, of which I am a part. How odd is that? I really shouldn’t delete these mails saying when and where they are. So I know, and can skillfully avoid.

Now on to some fake smiles and all that sort of social thing.

Very minor, and some concept trials introduced. Moderately noticeable changes include updates to the favorite pictures page and some alternate about me pages here and here.

What? You feel the new order of pictures feels more colourful? Yes, I do so too.

And while I was going through pictures during this update, I found this.

Plants have GOT to learn their place.. in the global hierarchy sorts of things. Sheesh.

Nothing major. Move along now.

I remember a time when weekends meant no work. I mean literally. Wake whenever, do whatever, overeat, fool around on the computer, watch tv till your eyes burn, listen to music so loud and hard you know you’re inducing deafness, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat, switching order of activities at will. Actually, come to think of it, those weren’t just weekends, they were the average day.

Good times.

Now, things are very different. Not entirely in a bad way, but sometimes you just don’t want things to have changed, so much.

People around always indicated it would only get worse, at least in the sense of more involved, more responsibility, more complicated and so on as time went on. Of course, I never believed them. I was, like everyone else, in the constant state of believing, “this is the hardest stretch, it will obviously be smoother sailing from now on”.

Not that it was ever “hard”, but when you’re insanely lazy, things could always be better. Yes, just plain greedy. And no, I don’t plan to change.

Weekends now involve work like any other day. Probably a little less “real” work, but there is tons of other “realer” life stuff that you have to catch up on. And I don’t mean the fun stuff. I mean arbitrary necessary evils, like the cleaning and washing sorts of things.

Strangely, these are good times too.

I guess I am older and wiser and all that sort of thing. Well, older anyway. Because, they don’t bother me as much as I thought they would. I almost, *shudder*, enjoy doing random things like cleaning up, (re)decorating, (re)arranging furniture and all the other “mundane choresy stuff” which I never imagined I’d do, let alone “not hate” doing, let alone enjoy doing.

I’ve always liked learning and related intellectual pursuits, but at my own pace. Sometimes waay faster, and sometimes a lot slower than was “expected” of a person in different areas during earlier schooling. This tends to put me off, since after a point you aren’t doing things because you want to, but because you have to.

Again, in that front too, things are different, very. I spend a lot of time reading things, learning, “working” etc, at my own pace, and only what I really want to do. That automatically removes the clear definition of work and tends to blur it with play. It can’t be work if it’s fun sort of thing.

Yes, good times.

I wonder where that little con man inside who tends to avoid any sort of work (where “work” is an all encompassing catch everything term that even includes activities like moving, communicating, non-essential thinking, …) is. But, I don’t need him to know, “good as it may be, this is the hardest stretch, it will obviously be smoother sailing from now on”.

Yesterday wasn’t so bad. It’s not like I spent the entire day staring at a bunch of consoles spewing out compiler noise. I was doing something far more fun. Volunteered for this thing where I cut out these little (ok, actually quite large) glider parts from balsa wood.

The deal is that during some fair, little kiddies (and people like me) will get to glue these parts together to complete these gliders and fly them :D. Yes, I will be there, even if it means I have to dress up to pass myself off as a kindergartener.

And yes, multi processor machines own compiling, and you.

I just spent the WHOLE day building GNOME. Like I said, I had to move to another system, and this box is built to be stable and not bleeding edge. Well, that pretty much sucks, as there is no eye candy.

So, like your usual geek, I decided to install a new GNOME. Now, I am not talking about some cheap “binary download over writing existing software” style install. I am talking about the real deal. More sadly, though I am the admin, I can’t just go around overwriting system files as I please to retain the “stability” of the box. And it’s sad, with gcc 2x as it’s primary compiler.

Not caring, I built the WHOLE DEAL within my home space. Glibc and gcc up through mozilla. HELL I EVEN HAVE totem playing an mpeg stream. Cool, so I get Epiphany on MOZ 1.5b! up and load everyone’s favorite gnome news site, footnotes.

Headline? GNOME 2.4 is out. Sure it’s faster on a quad processor box but, sigh, I need to go to bed.

I don’t know what it is
That makes me feel alive
I don’t know how to wake
The things that sleep inside
I only wanna see the light
That shines behind your eyes

I hope that I can say
The things I wish I’d said
To sing my soul to sleep
And take me back to bed
You want to be alone
When we could be alive instead

This is not good. I’ve dropped things quite a few times. Things seemed normal so far, but suddenly, my laptop seems to have taken offence and is beginning to misbehave. Right now, I am not typing this from my trusty computer, but some other box.

The connection between the adapter and the socket for it on the laptop is totally screwed (I’d like to say “for no real reason”, but it’s my, hmm.. handling). It’s currently “just” not connected, and ends up arcing as a result. This has serious consequences as within 5 seconds, that area of the computer is too hot to touch (definitely not good) and the thermal sensors go haywire and all the fans come on making it sound like a helicopter.

So, I’ve slowly started moving my data out before sending it to hp. I think it’s going to be a lot harder than I thought. Enter the model number, the serial number, the manufacturer number, the this, the that etc. Carefully find each one, enter in different forms.

BEEP! Sorry, that combination of numbers is not good for us.

Damn it, I want my computer to be happy again that’s all.

*Runs back to trying ALL permutations of ALL numbers showing up anywhere near the computer.*