I’m actually rather busy

Which is a first.

So here’s the thing people; I was trying to write up an opinion piece on this thought-provoking (if entirely wrong) opinion piece. [Pussyfoot past registration]

I still am. Please read it when you can make the time. I assure you it’s entertaining, at least. The previous post was supposed to start you thinking along those lines, and I was supposed to follow up with this brilliantly-funny take on things.

And then I got sidetracked. (Help me as you always do, my friendly typo-checkers.)

It’s like I have a very tiny limit on the number of words I can write in a given day.

A suggestive preview

I’ve not been slacking, I’ve been busy. Amongst other things, I’ve also been “researching” stuff toward a post (and our not-as-yet dead treatise [PDF]) I’m working on.

Yes people, this is more work than it seems. As a preview however, consider the same[1] woman, wearing the exact same shirt.

Woman in jeans.

Woman in a skirt.

Who would you rather approach semi-seriously (all mumbling and nervously) for a date? And why?

Stay tuned for more such extreme thought-experimentation; right here on actuality dot log.

[1] For argument’s sake.

If this were reality

Oh what’s become of this journal? We haven’t delved into the world of reality TV in so long. And for those of you joining us from a parts of the world that don’t know the joys of excessive reality TV, all I can say is that I pity you.

I cannot believe that this slipped under my radar. I was channel surfing the other day, and chanced upon an episode of this little gem.

A beauty and a geek.

This is a show that’s either conceived or produced or just endorsed (I’m not really sure, and I don’t care) by Ashton Kutcher, and apparently, it’s already in its second season. The premise is simple enough—pair intelligent but severely socially challenged men up with gorgeous but not-so-bright women and watch the hilarity as the “best couple wins”. The guys on the show were (for the most part) your usual suspects—generally super sweet and nice engineering grad students who were beyond socially stunted. The women were extremely attractive (the photos on the website above do not do them justice), but borderline retarded. Oh joy!

What I liked about the show was that it didn’t overtly milk either of these extremely contrasting traits for cheap laughs (though I probably would have liked it even more if it did!). The guys seem genuinely in it to learn and evolve socially while trying their best, and the women are sweet, feel sorry for them and try to get them out of their shells. The interesting thing, I thought, was the general level of self-consciousness and insecurity on both sides of the fence. You’d assume a knock-out blonde hasn’t a care in the world. You’d be wrong.

Now here’s what I didn’t like.

Gorgeous as they were, the women on average in the show were, let’s say, bartenders. The men on the other hand were senior grad students in Ivy League schools. Now that in itself isn’t a big deal. But in every single pairing, it was the woman who felt the strong need to teach the poor guy something. You know, important life skills, like the Salsa or how to pluck your eyebrows. Not once did any of the guys sit down and go, “Hmm, there’s so much she hasn’t a clue about. Why don’t we show her a thing or two and help open up her eyes as well”.

Not once.

I’m not literally suggesting rocket science tutoring for massage lessons. But I’m not not suggesting it either.

And now this brings us to our final super-general and sweeping comment that’s going to draw much fire (from you, my feisty audience, of course). Men—without thought—mate up and down the socio-economic ladder[1] as long as they find the woman “hot”. However intelligent they claim to be, the really important decisions subvert their cerebrum entirely. (As in, I’ll keep harping I need someone über-qualified, but if a random hot bartender chick crosses my path, I’ll be more than happy. Thoughts like, “But I might never be able to have a meaningful and deep conversation with her, ever” will not even cross my mind.)

Women, on the other hand, are intelligent enough to look into things like financial stability (as a function of education or job or whatever) when deciding a mate. Which is why they will probably only mate up the ladder given the chance; it clearly makes more sense than living destitute with a starving artist, doesn’t it? And this, is why I believe the show reversed, i.e. super hot bartender guys and socially stunted Nobel laureate women won’t work. There just won’t be an attraction either way, unless there’s someone like Miranda in the midst.

[1] As in for life.

Not in vain

I was at a coffee shop earlier, and I suddenly started smiling uncontrollably. My eye had caught the following headline.

Wigs for cancer patients.

And then the woman I was with asked me what was so funny; I pointed to it as I told her it wasn’t anything funny. All I got in response was a blank stare.

My my, how quickly they forget.

When geeks aren’t geeky enough

This is a geeky post. Sorry. Maybe if you scroll down really quickly…

I was trying to get some (work related) writing done, when I get an e-mail from the computer support people at the university wondering what kinds of LINUX (sic) the machines in our lab are running. I don’t know if I’ve brought this up here, but I also double up as the sysadmin in my lab. Why? Well, I’m the geekiest of the bunch.

I tried informing them that we run a variety of RedHat based OSs, from older RedHat Linuces, some Fedora Core, and newer RedHat “Enterprise Linux” rebuilds called Scientific Linux. I soon get an e-mail from them saying their new security policy requires that all LINUX (sic) be either RedHat Enterprise Linux (RHEL) 3,4 or Fedora Core 3+. And RHEL is clearly preferred. (Oh my, are the 3 Debian users going to be pissed.)

I tried explaining to them that a rebuild of RHEL is still RHEL, and more mature than Fedora Core; as in I’m not keen on moving all machines over to Fedora Core (which isn’t particularly stable or long lasting), or sending RedHat a big bag of money. I have been unable to get through; at least I don’t think that I can make a difference. So I post all my arguments below.

0. Since the software is all open (as in freedom) and free (as in price), numerous people bundle different sets of software together and call it a “distribution”. There are numerous GNU/Linux distributions out there.
1. RedHat GNU/Linux was one of the earliest into the market and is (quite consequently) a very popular distribution of the OS, especially in the US.
2. The reason I tend not to deviate from it is because I’m used to it. I was talking to a friend the other day, and we realised we’ve been using it for just over a decade last Thursday.
3. One of the other reasons for RedHat’s popularity is that they released their product entirely free for download over the internet, as easy to burn CD images (ISOs). This ending up on a CD on the back of a computer magazine was my first introduction to the OS.
4. Years later, one day they decided they couldn’t do this anymore (citing things like they being “the highest users of bandwidth in the world”), and started charging thousands of dollars for their product; while spinning off a community supported variant of their code called Fedora Core.
5. While this was nice and good, Fedora Core is annoyingly bleeding edge, and won’t always work cleanly when it’s up, while getting outdated easily as the support community gets bored and moves onto newer, shinier technologies. For instance, the end of life (EOL) for a Fedora Core version is 1.5–2.0 years, while it’s 7 for RHEL.
6. This annoying most semi-mature people, they needed a way out. Another crucial bit of this story is that the software RedHat distributes is licensed under the GPL; which means that though they are free to charge money for compiled binaries, they are obligated to release the source code of the product. So these semi-mature people decided to take these sources, and compile it to generate RedHat’s more mature, slower changing “enterprise class” product. One of these groups consists of Fermilab, CERN, and various other labs and universities around the world—and their resulting product is called Scientific Linux.
7. Which is what we use. It is still more stable and thoroughly code-audited than Fedora Core, even though it doesn’t have a RedHat brand name attached to it. Being fully binary and source compatible with the “enterprise class” product, things like proprietary software built for RedHat’s product, like Mathematica, Intel’s high performance compilers or even just a closed-source device driver, will work out of the box and not know the difference.

Defeating the purpose

I’m pleased to report that in terms of maintaining resolutions, I’m doing pretty well. I will get into greater detail sometime in the future, but for now, I’m going to talk about one of the problems I’m running into.

The fundamental issue with being me, is that I’m like this little monkey whose only tool is a crudely shaped rock. No matter what the problem thrown at me, I will proceed to approach it the only way I know how—banging senselessly using the aforementioned rock. Case in point, we have this year’s goals 1 and 2 which basically amount to “lose weight”. I could work out, but I proceed to do as I normally do—look for a loophole in the system. After making some subtle shifts to my diet, like replacing two bottles of these a day

Mountain due nutrient content.

with two bottles of these instead,

Diet snapple nutrient content.

I’ve begun the process of reaching my target. And I’ve clearly (already) defeated the purpose of the exercise, namely 3; which is to be strong enough to whisk someone (within reason) off their feet.

God damn it.

Overheard on my commute

(Yeah, really.)

Woman 1: “So, are you going out tonight?”
Woman 2: “Oh, I don’t know. I really don’t want to spend all that time getting ready. I wonder if I could just go like this?” *Points to ungroomed self in a sweatshirt and slacks*
Woman 1: *Furrowing her forehead* “I’m guessing that will be frowned upon.”
Woman 2: “I know, besides, do you think I’d get as many free drinks?”
Woman 2: “You have to work for it, right?”

(I love this town!)

Is ignorance in the wrong?

This earlier post got me to thinking about being ignorant about other cultures (and just being ignorant in general). I don’t claim not to be part of an educated elite, where I do look down upon anyone who I deem is a “simpleton”. But in contrast to other people, I openly admit it, and consciously work toward not letting this get in my way during important decision making.

During much travel around this country, I couldn’t help but notice just how inward looking and uninformed people generally were. I naïvely assumed this was the cause of my big beef with the “farmlands of heartland America”. But after quite a bit of pondering, it dawned on me that it doesn’t really matter if you’re uninformed; I realised that it is everyone’s natural born right to be ignorant and apathetic (especially about things that don’t immediately concern them).

Earthquake in Kashmir, flooding in New Orleans, tsunami in Indonesia… honestly, I don’t care either. I mean I do… but I don’t, know what I mean? It’s not like I’m not compassionate or that I’m desensitised; it’s just, since none of these incidents affected me personally, I don’t see why they shouldn’t fall out of my mind’s list of things “I ought to care about”. Just like the rest of you, I will send a few relief cheques, feel better about doing my bit, and move along without another thought.

Now, I have a couple of friends who make it a point to inform me (on EVERY SINGLE INSTANCE) that they’re “Persian” and not “Arab”. But you know what? I don’t really care about the specifics. You’re from one of those generally-middle-eastern regions, and I will think of you as “Arab”. I don’t mean anything derogatory by that; I just don’t know any better, and don’t plan to educate myself either. Hell, I put up with such things too—like when people ask me if I speak “Indian”[1]—don’t I? It’s the same thing. If you don’t get to experience, don’t NEED to know, you don’t care. And you won’t know.

Neither do I.

And that’s perfectly OK. It’s OK to be ignorant about the world, and unfazed by all the badness that’s out there. What is NOT OK however is to then proceed to think you have some sort of “moral right” to go and mess around with cultures that you barely understand. Now that, my dearies, is an entirely different ball game; and is the crux of my beef “heartland America”. They know nothing, AND they vote on/in favour of things they have no idea about the implications of.

I, on the other hand, will continue confusing Persians with Arabs; and not feeling guilty in the least.

[1] Or when they ask me, “Do you have tutors flown in from England to teach you English?”

Homophobiaphobia

Like I’ve said time and time again[1], it’s hard enough to find someone who cares for you, makes you happy and everything else (while you repay the favour) without narrowing down your selection pool based on language, skin colour, race, gender, whether your mom will approve, whether your grand-dad will approve … .

If someone happened to find another person who they care about and this makes them happy, why does it make you so uncomfortable? Deal with it; this has nothing to do with you. It doesn’t adversely affect you. You’ve got no right to complain. I realise that it’s probably natural to go with the “I don’t understand it, I must fear it” mentality, but honestly, you’ve got to be a bigger (wo)man than that. Learn, and grow. Don’t misunderstand and fear, or worse, hate.

The other class of homophobes who piss me off (far more), are those that think being gay has something to do with “having fun and shirking responsibility”. And by “shirking responsibility”, they mean not having to worry about things like impregnation. This, I believe, is a very intellectually-stunted outlook. Please get it through your thick skulls that you can really like someone—even if they have the same genitalia as you—and this has nothing to do with not wanting to get someone pregnant; it’s really only about wanting to be with the one you want.

Anyway, whatever your reasons for fear or hate, at least try to assuage yourself pragmatically. Honestly, what would you like better? Having two hotter, more sensitive guys with a better dress sense competing against you for that woman you worship from afar? Or them taking each other out of the equation and leaving her for you to hit on?

Now don’t you see? Don’t be a hater. Just be thankful that you need to do one less crunch. And this is what really bothers me so much about homophobes; they’re just so darned short-sighted.

[1] Penile Penal Affairs, page 2, last paragraph.

Various hues of idiot

actuality dot log—Now cool enough to rip itself off.
(This is like one of those flashback episodes you see on major sitcoms from time to time.)

On the one hand, you have the ungratefuls who ask you question after question, but don’t thank you politely for your patient replies, or even once stop in to say hello.

On the other, you have the retards who can’t spell or form a sentence, and you realise they’re a lost cause, not worthy of real help. So you choose to mock them instead.

On the other hand (yes, I’m an alien with three hands), you have the jokers who think insulting you or your efforts is the optimal way of receiving help. The following is an (honest to god, not cooked up) e-mail “conversation” I had. (For newcomers, the page in question is this).

He says: (emphasis mine)

Hi
just went through your site !…..

I was looking at my prospects of joining umich (3.7/5.0) :(, my poor grades hope they are not sufficient to make it to umich, i’ve presented some papers and won two design contests.

but
looking at the way wrote things it looks that you are in real pain torture what not ? i ‘ m kind of afraid of …….how do u like umich and research wht r the prospects after that….. well im taking lilberties to write like this all of my junk…just as you did it in your website, I hope you don’t mind it.

Please guide me on pursuing higher studies, i wud like to work in automobiles industry.
Hope brother,you find some of your crucial time and respond,

regards

I say:

And where did I say anything even remotely implying I was in ‘real pain torture what not’?

He says: (emphasis mine)

I just had a feeling that u were spoiling ur website and not doing justice to the space provided to u. Anways i went a bit far with my incisive comments. I didn’t intend to hurt you.
I read ur masterpiece – penile rights or sth?/
anyways i was just havin fun typin, you r taking things seriously bro,

guide me,
waiting for ur reply
enjoy and tc

If I weren’t such a nice guy at heart, I think I would have turned rather violent at some point, rapidly accelerating the brewing of this altercation.

Happy waiting, retard.

On falling trees and eavesdropping

I don’t usually get into current affairs on my journal, because I don’t keep myself abreast of such things; and I rarely care enough to write about events even when I do. But one recent event has pissed me off to no end, and has actually gotten me a little paranoid (unsurprisingly, pissing me off even more). It all started with the sensational revelation of Bush’s whole “secret wiretaps” programme.

I begin with every budding shallow-philosopher’s favourite first question:

If a tree falls in a forest, and there’s no one there to hear it, was there sound?

Now here’s the thing. I’d love to stay in my little bubble where I can imagine myself perfectly-righteous, and live my life under the rules defined by my implicit notions of what’s right and what’s wrong; but I can’t, and I don’t. I live in society governed by well defined rules, not arbitrary morals. I understand this, so I make it a point to keep myself aware of these rules, and follow them. That’s how it goes. I do this mostly because I want to, but even otherwise, just to avoid the unpleasantness that could arise if I didn’t.

On the same note, sometimes, I do enjoy doing things that aren’t “morally right” (as judged by my internal compass), but that are acceptable to the letter of the law. I go ahead and do these things anyway, knowing fully well I am protected (in the sense of not landing up in prison), because that’s how the law is worded. But, whether I’m doing the right thing or not in my mind, I am following the written rules that we, as a society, have chosen to live by.

The trouble begins when the legitimacy of some of these minor (but oh-so-gratifying) ethical breaches rely upon other people following those rules as well. If, without any good reason or right, you think it’s OK to spy on me and then proceed to allege that I was doing something you deemed unlawful, who’s really breaking the law?

This is my biggest beef with all of this. Those who favour this sort of thing (trampling on privacy rights in the interest of their good fight) will expect you to be swayed in their direction by the following sob speil: “Could you look yourself in the mirror if you had to bury 1000s of innocent civilians because you were too prudent about ensuring the civil liberties of terrorists?”

Short answer, yes. Freedom is important, and often calls for some sacrifice.

Now let me tell you the real sob story these events have now made a reality: Let’s assume you’re doing nothing wrong as such—but it could be construed as so by a bunch of overly zealous jurors from South Alabama—and the only reason the world knows about what you’re doing is because they were spying on you ILLEGALY in the first place. Now who’s really breaking the law?

No matter, it’s you who will end up in jail. And that’s seriously screwed up.

I end with my new variant of every budding shallow-philosopher’s favourite first question:

If a possibly minor infraction was committed, and no one observed it or was affected by it, was there an infraction?

Where do I begin?

Is it possible to confuse some sort of deep respect for someone’s intellect with a form of attraction toward them? This incident, apparently, had stemmed from just that. It’s bothersome when you don’t know whether to feel flattered or creeped out.

And, if it were possible, I would gladly trade a sizable chunk of that “intellect” for a modicum of sociability. But since it’s not, I’ve decided on an alternative plan; the crux of which is to stop worrying about our shortcomings and (ab)use our strengths. The details of this will unfold shortly.

Or more likely, such details will never be shared. I know it’s good to share and everything, but sometimes, one probably needs to keep trade secrets close to heart, you know, to gain and retain some competitive advantage. Or something like that.

After some thought

So here’s what’s going on. My biggest beef is not with the masses who are getting engaged, but with me. While the rest of the world[1] is moving forward with their personal and professional lives, I am perfectly happy ogling over shiney LEDs.

Just what the fuck is wrong with me?

[1] Some 70% of my primary interaction set from college, probably over half the people I’m in touch with from school, and a major portion of the crowd I know in graduate school are, for all intents and purposes, either engaged or married.